Letting Reggie Go: The Head Says Yes, the Heart Cries No

If Reggie Jackson were a dock worker, Monday’s scheduled meeting with his boss would be a lot easier for the world to understand.

Boss: Sit down, Reggie. I think you and I both know that you’re not pulling your weight around the packing plant anymore. You’ve been a great employee but it’s time to move on. Face it, that young punk Smith can handle a forklift twice as good as you. McIntyre can load two pallets to your every one. Don’t fight it, Reggie. We got a great pension plan here at ACME. Take that Caribbean cruise. Listen, some of the guys have arranged a punch and cookie retirement thing over at Platform 5. I think there’s a gold watch in it for you, too. It happens to everyone, Reg. Take it like a man.

Of course, it’s impossible to separate reality from fantasy when the subject is Reggie Jackson, the baseball legend.

That’s why Monday’s scheduled meeting between Jackson and the Angels will likely produce emotion and controversy.

The Angels aren’t expected to re-sign the 40-year-old slugger for the 1986 season. It’ll be a shock if they do.

When Reggie finally gets his pink slip, the Angels will get letters. Fans will burn season tickets. Radio talk shows lines will be jammed with callers.

Life without Reggie is difficult to imagine. For all the trouble he’s been, so has he been a pleasure. That’s the Jackson paradox. He was the straw that stirred our drink, too.

Yet if you hash out the pros and cons, you know the Angels in their hearts are right in not asking Jackson back.

Leave your emotions at the front gate for once and think of the Angels as ACME Packing and Jackson as a 40-year company man.

Make a list, check it twice, and see why the Angels won’t roll the dice.

REASONS TO KEEP REGGIE

--Because he’s still the most exciting strikeout in baseball. Palm trees sway and flags curl when Reggie swings and misses.

--Because he has more home runs than Mickey Mantle.

--Because Reggie is so famous that he’s a cliche. He’s a one-man, one-band, walking public relations act, the biggest name in baseball and the biggest draw the Angels have had since Nolan Ryan.

--Because all great plots need protagonists and anti-heroes.

--Because no sports page or local news show will be the same without him.

--Because Reggie is so unpredictable as to kiss a baby one day and spit on one the next.

--Because, every blue moon, Reggie can still raise a goose bump by hitting two home runs (see July 11, 1985) off Tom Seaver in Fenway Park.

--Because no 40-year-old this side of Pete Rose hustles any more than Jackson.

--Because it would be difficult to imagine a season without pending lawsuits, attendance clauses, retractions, distractions and infractions.

REASONS TO DUMP REGGIE

--He turns 41 next May. Reggie can’t hit a home run for every year of his life anymore.

--Angel designated hitters last season ranked 13th in the American League in home run and RBI production. Kicker: There are only 14 teams in the league.

--Reggie hitting a fast ball off a left-hander is about as likely as you catching a bullet in your teeth.

--Last season’s stats: 419 at bats, .241 average, 18 homers and 58 RBIs.

--Because Reggie doesn’t play the field as well as anyone on “Dynasty.”

--Because if Reggie played one last year in another city, the Angels would be relieved of tossing a Farewell Reggie Bash equal to the magnitude and emotion of Rod Carew’s.

--Because pure, sappy sentiment has no place on a 24-man roster.

--Because Reggie’s salary vs. output ratio doesn’t add up on any pocket calculator.

--Because he’s a pain in management’s you-know-what. Imagine the front-office joy of a Reggie-less season free of pending lawsuits, attendance clauses, retractions, distractions and infractions.

Sadly, Reggie isn’t worth the price of admission anymore. You can’t swing a bat filled with sentiment alone.

Goodbyes are always difficult. For as Reggie grows old, so too do we. We want to believe there’s another year left in his bat as much as the laborer wants to believe there’s another year left in his back.

Time, though, waits for no legend.

Say goodby, Reggie.