Pitch an Idea to Lasorda: It’s All Relative

When Tom Lasorda rode by on the City of Los Angeles float during the Rose Parade, Chris LaBonge of Glendale shouted, “Hey, Tommy, pitch Matt Young, he’s my brother-in-law’s brother.”

Shouted back Lasorda: “If he wins 15 games for me, I’ll make him my son-in-law.”

When Texas was seeking a successor to Fred Akers as football coach, the Dallas Times Herald did some sketches on the leading candidates, listing their pros and cons. Of Larry Smith, the paper said:

PROS: “A top-notch defensive coach who has a reputation of winning big games. His Wildcats have beaten arch-rival Arizona State five consecutive times. Special teams always among the best.”

CONS: “Primarily a defensive coach who seldom gets involved with the offense, which has been traditionally weak at Arizona. Like Akers, not a real colorful guy, although he is a bit more outspoken.”

For What It’s Worth: Ted Tollner wound up with a 1-2 bowl record, thus becoming the first USC coach to lose more bowl games than he won.

The records: Howard Jones 5-0, Elmer (Gloomy Gus) Henderson 2-0, John Robinson 4-1, John McKay 6-3, Jeff Cravath 2-2, Jess Hill 1-1.

Trivia Time: The New York Giants and the Cleveland Browns, favored to meet in the Super Bowl, are the only teams in the playoffs who haven’t played in the title game before. When’s the last time a Super Bowl matched teams making their first appearances? (Answer below.)

Jerry Lucas, talking about the Ohio State basketball teams he led to greatness in the early 1960s, told Mike DeCourey of the Pittsburgh Press: “Fred Taylor recruited no hotheads, people who caused trouble on or off the court. It was a fine group of young men, and the 25 years that have gone by have proven that. Although one of us is still a little hotheaded from time to time. I think we know who that is.”

That’s right, Bob Knight.

Said Moses Malone, after the Washington Bullets embarrassed the Philadelphia 76ers and his former teammate, Charles Barkley, by scoring a 102-97 victory on Christmas Day: “No way he could play me--the man’s too small. The man weighs 270 pounds, but he’s only 6-4 1/2--and after I got through with him, he might be 6-3. He looks like Santa Claus.”

Trivia Answer: Last year, Chicago vs. New England.

Quotebook

Former Olympic decathlon champion Bruce Jenner, on the difference between him and Joe Namath: “I spent 12 years training for a career that was over in a week. Joe spent a week training for a career that lasted 12 years.”