KILLING A CARROT

We were very distressed to hear that Elektra Records is removing the song “Killing an Arab” (based on Albert Camus’ “The Stranger”) from all of the Cure’s domestic releases because it offended members of the Arab community.

Recalling the Rolling Stone’s rewriting of “Let’s Spend the Night Together” for television, it occurred to us that new lyrics were called for. So, we submit for consideration these new, inoffensive lyrics.

We feel that the agricultural motif lends itself readily to this song, as farmers today are disaffected like the Stranger was in Camus’ book.

Standing on the farm

with a hoe in my hand

Staring at the barn,

staring at the land

Staring down the shovel

at the carrot in the ground

I see its orange top,

but I hear no sound

I’m alive, I’m dead,

I am the farmer

Killing a carrot

I can turn and walk away

or I can lower the plow

Staring at the grain,

staring at the cow

Whichever I choose,

it amounts to the same

absolutely nothing

I’m alive, I’m dead,

I am the farmer

Killing a carrot

While this should dispel any complaints from the Arab community, there may be problems from the Carrot Anti-Defamation League and other pro-vegetable rights organizations. There should be no problems if only they will remember that the song isn’t about the brutal murder of a carrot, but rather a statement about how modern society has so alienated the farmer that he is capable of the unprovoked, senseless slaughter of a harmless vegetable.

T.W. FOOTE

ROBERT WINTLER

Santa Monica