Arizona’s new oasis

It’s not the quaint little bunkhouse y’all had in mind.

Not with 487 rooms, 28 fountains, 47 waterfalls, 9 pools, a Jacuzzi, a spa and a three-story water sled that’s Arizona’s answer to Niagara Falls.

There’s more.

The new $80-million Hyatt Regency features its own beach, fish pond, a lake and a Water Temple that would please the fussiest Greek god.

The site is the 640-acre Gainey Ranch, which is eight miles north of downtown Scottsdale on the road to Carefree. Only instead of horses, guests ride golf carts over a 27-hole championship course framed by the haunting McDowell Mountains.

Wranglers who once rode herd over cattle on Gainey Ranch would turn in their spurs if they saw the dudes on duty at Hyatt’s hacienda. Imagine bellhops wearing knickers, ties and matching argyle sweaters and socks. No 10-gallon hats. No chaps. Just those sissy outfits. Still, blond Michelle Harmon, 20, and 19-year-old Kerry Markov are stunning in their outfits. Bell captain Dan Maxery boasts how they’re Arizona’s only female bellhops.

Opened only last December, the Hyatt is to Arizona what Disneyland is to California. Only instead of slipping off the Matterhorn, guests skim down a three-story slide disguised as Big Ben. Or what the Hyatt gang describes as the Clock Tower.

The grounds are so waterlogged that visitors who don’t swim are advised to wear life preservers. The hotel intends to bring in gondolas to transport guests around the grounds. As a result, Gainey Ranch promises to become the Venice of the West.

Without California it could have been a bust. Workmen trucked in 300 date palms from Palm Springs and 500,000 pounds of sand from Monterey. The palms were planted to turn Gainey Ranch into an oasis. The sand was spread across a man-made beach.

Guests who wish to keep their feet dry stroll along an aqueduct above the pools, the fountains and the Water Temple. The latter features a king-size spa that bubbles with hot water. The idea is to soak until one is limp. Then it’s a plunge into an icy pool. If that sounds like an invitation for a cardiac, never mind. The house physician, Dr. Art Mollen, is close by, presiding over the hotel’s fitness center. He is there to assist guests who wish to lose weight and firm up the frame with weights, aerobics classes, jogging and biking. Stress tests are administered on the spot. Herbal wraps are part of the deal.

Non-actives relax beside fire pits on chilly mornings and on toasty afternoons they soak rays on the Hyatt beach.

Bathers are advised to use caution approaching the resort’s Big Gun, which is the name given to a waterfall that plunges off a 20-foot ledge. Something like 600 gallons a minute spill onto the heads of swimmers. The Big Gun is for macho types. Gentler souls cool off under the calmer Cascades, a second waterfall that pours off a three-level perch.

Disneyland-in-the-Desert features a lobby with removable glass doors; water trickles off a dozen crystal pillars that are lighted at night, and swans glide gracefully across Hyatt’s man-made lake.

The soaking a guest takes for settling in this waterlogged world starts at $175 a night and runs to $265 for a room in the Regency Club.

The Regency is Hyatt’s answer to the airline VIP lounge. Only Hyatt’s club is better. Trust me. It occupies a private wing with a fetching female concierge, Lori Jernigan. A brown-eyed sophomore from Arizona State University, she wears a lady’s tuxedo and works miracles obtaining airline reservations, theater tickets, beauty appointments and other favors sought by guests. Another beauty, Lisa Smith, is in charge of the VIP lounge where breakfast is served each morning, coffee, tea and soft drinks are poured in the afternoon and hors d’ouvres and cocktails are on the house evenings, 5 till 8 o’clock.

One can spend more. Suites range from $300 to $1,500 a night. Or there are four-bedroom casitas in the $265 bracket, which is the cost per room. Hyatt charges extra for the living room. It’s the same with the golf. Eighteen holes comes to $62. And you’ll pay $5 an hour for tennis.

As the biggest resort in Scottsdale, the Hyatt Regency is a far cry from the little riding resorts Scottsdale used to be famous for.

The ballroom alone took over 14,000 square feet of ex-pastureland. And instead of a cowpoke strumming a guitar, a serious chap plays tunes and classical melodies afternoons and evenings in the lobby.

General Manager Ed Sullivan figures the hotel’s flower bill will run in the neighborhood of $100,000 a year. And he won’t even estimate the cost of all the 23-karat gold leaf that chef Anton Brunbauer sprinkles in the duck consomme. While mixing gold leaf with consomme may seem a trifle eccentric, chef Brunbauer says he’s struck a bonanza among guests.

“They eat it up!” he says.

Along with the duck consomme, the menu in the posh Normandie Room lists such un-Western offerings as smoked wild boar with marinated asparagus, langoustine with English cucumbers and a Dover sole/lobster dish Brunbauer prepares with truffles.

As an after-meal offering, an ounce and a half of Louis XIII Remy Martin adds $60 to the bill or a splash of Armagnac runs up the charge another $45.

If the good life is contagious (as well as affordable), guests can settle down in one of the 2,000 residences being built on Gainey Ranch. Everything from a condominium costing $102,000 to custom homes selling for as much as $1 million.

One completed enclave features properties with their own putting greens and waterfalls.

Meanwhile, in Phoenix the Pointe at South Mountain--it covers 635 acres--recently unveiled 600 two-room suites along with five restaurants, an 18-hole championship golf course, a spa, six swimming pools and 10 tennis courts. What with stables on the property, there’s also a fragrance of the Old West. This plus jogging trails, a junior ballroom and an immense convention center.

The suites, each with two TV sets, a couple of telephones, a refrigerator and wet bar start at $140 a night.

At the same time, three 18-hole golf courses designed by Jack Nicklaus are being readied on an 8,000-acre spread in northern Scottsdale. The Desert Mountain Development planned by the Frank Lloyd Wright Foundation will involve 5,800 resort units and an outdoor Shakespearean theater.

The Phoenix/Scottsdale Arena encompasses upward of 1,000 tennis courts and 75 golf courses. The number of hotel and resort rooms is anyone’s guess. Still rated as the premier resort in Phoenix, the venerable Arizona Biltmore attracts politicians, corporate captains, film stars and ordinary vacationers with a penchant for the good life. Literary agent Arthur Pine described it once as “one of the world’s great hotels.” A New York socialite called it a drug. “I’m hooked!” she said.

The Biltmore is to Phoenix what Mauna Kea is to Hawaii and the Oriental is to Bangkok. Created by Frank Lloyd Wright, it has drawn the carriage trade since 1928. High tea is served afternoons in the Fountain Court and cocktail parties are hosted weekly by General Manager Cecil Ravenswood.

The resort is distinguished for its impeccable service, quiet elegance and striking grounds that are fussed over by 23 gardeners. For 22 “8 uninterrupted years the hotel has received the coveted Mobil Award of Excellence.

Spread across 37 acres, the enormous resort features a couple of 18-hole golf courses, swimming pools, tennis courts and paths for hikers and joggers. Ronald and Nancy Reagan found happiness here. So did the Duke and Duchess of Windsor and Clark Gable.

As an indication of its concern for guests, the Biltmore once sprayed its stables with Chanel No. 5. Alas, with the horses gone, guests hitch rides by limousine to other stables outside town.

In years past, guests arrived with their own horses. They were accompanied by maids, butlers and nannies and they stayed on for the entire winter. The Henry Foremans of Chicago continue the tradition, this being their 52nd year. The hotel offers extra touches to keep old friends content. An orchestra plays each evening during the dinner hour and enormous buffets are served Sunday in the Gold Room.

Winter rates are in effect now, but if one is patient the same room becomes available for a mere $85 beginning May 30.

Guests shop at Fashion Park or else travel across town to browse in the Old World-like Borgata, which is a scaled-down version of the walled village of San Gimignano outside Florence. Narrow avenues are woven among piazzas that bear the names of Michelangelo, Vivaldi and Da Vinci. Romantics linger near fountains. They sip espresso and cappuccino at Ciao, a sidewalk cafe only steps beyond that fashionable ladies’ salon Capriccio, with its 17th-Century door delivered to Arizona from Europe.

Yes, it could be Siena on a sunny day.

In case one is smitten with all this continental elegance, shelter is provided next door at Stouffer’s Cottonwood Resort, an enclave comprising 171 luxury suites (106 with hot tubs) spread across 25 grassy acres. The Old World theme is in tune here, too, along with an obvious Western touch.

Beam ceilings look down on Italian headboards. Spanish tiles grace rooftops. Guests warm themselves beside beehive fireplaces. It’s as cozy as a scene from a Fellini love story.

So get comfortable. Ring up Ciao and order the wine and the pasta. Then settle in for a night to remember.

Hotels/Resorts

--Hyatt Regency, 7500 E. Doubletree Ranch Road, Scottsdale, Ariz. 85258. Telephone (602) 991-3388. Minimum rate is $175, single or double.

--The Pointe At South Mountain, 7777 South Pointe Parkway, Phoenix, Ariz. 85044. Telephone (602) 438-9000. Minimum rate, $140 single or double.

--The Biltmore, 24th Street & Missouri, Phoeniz, Ariz. 85002. Telephone (602) 955-6600. Minimum rates are $150 single, $170 double.

--Stouffers Cottonwood Resort, 6160 N. Scottsdale Road, Scottsdale, Ariz. 85253. Telephone (602) 991-1414. Minimum rate, $125 single or double.