Rams’ Draft Shows More Than Is Told

The NFL draft has come and gone, yet we know so little about how the Rams made out. We know they got a Donald and a Cliff and a Doug and a Larry, but what sets them apart from, say, a Moe and a Curly?

There are some media experts who say the Rams did a flying belly-flop in this year’s draft, with one East Coast writer claiming that only two teams performed worse.

We, moreover, are troubled by the anonymity of the Rams’ choices. Three people interviewed for this story were sure that Donald Evans, actually the Rams’ first choice in the second round, was somehow linked in the Iran- contra affair. They figured that anyone who went by Donald and not simply by Don must surely be involved in counterintelligence.

Of course, no one had even heard of the Rams’ remaining 10 draft choices, the players who will make up the very heart of this summer’s training camp scout squad.

They are names only true Ram fans will commit to memory: Cliff Hicks, Doug Bartlett, Larry Kelm, Scott Mersereau (sounds like Merserwho?), Jon Embree, Michael Stewart, Tracy Ham, David Smith, Alonzo Williams and Fred Stokes.

These sent-from-heaven 11 will take their first forearm shots Monday when the Rams open their annual four-day minicamp at Rams Park. Of more pressing concern is to cut through the front-office rhetoric and find out the real behind-the-scenes stories behind these guys.

Not surprisingly, the Rams’ scouting reports on all 11 are glowing. But are they objective reports? Hardly.

At great expense, we staked several reporters near the home of each Ram draft choice last week. The assignment was to watch all points of entry and exit in around-the-clock shifts and report back with the details.

The results, we believe, are quite astonishing and sensational, a bit more than the “has great potential” line you always get from coaches on draft day.

The following is a report on the Ram draft choices, first a capsule summary from the Rams on the players and then the Real Story.

1. Donald Evans. Defensive end. Winston-Salem State. Second round, 47th pick overall.

Rams: The team expects Evans to contribute immediately as a pass rusher. He is big (6-feet 2-inches, 209 pounds), and fast, reportedly running the 40-yard dash in 4.58 seconds. The Rams love his quickness and are not at all worried that Evans is a relative no-name from a tiny Division II school. Ram Coach John Robinson says Evans has “great potential.” Also has great field vision.

Real Story: Evans, it was learned, recorded his best 40-yard dash time when chasing a car with a cardboard replica of Ram Vice President-Finance John Shaw fastened on the bumper. It was Shaw who last year squeezed first-round choice Mike Schad into signing a record-low, four-year deal at slightly more than a million dollars. Evans also has made an appointment with an optometrist to have his field vision checked.

2. Clifford Hicks. Cornerback. Oregon. Third round, 74th pick overall.

Rams: Hicks had some ankle problems at Oregon, but if he remains healthy, the Rams believe he will provide great support for Pro Bowl cornerbacks Jerry Gray and LeRoy Irvin. Hicks is small, only 5-9, but has great strength and anticipation skills. Rams think he is a real sleeper.

Real Story: It turns out that Hicks is a real sleeper. In a period of three days of surveillance, Hicks did not come out to get the morning paper until after noon. Oh, yes, he was limping badly, mumbling one morning that the pain was like someone was “sticking needles in my ankles.”

3. Doug Bartlett. Linebacker. Northern Illinois. Fourth round, 91st pick overall.

Rams: An All-American honorable mention as a senior, although he played only three games because of ankle injuries. A very physical and aggressive down lineman, the Rams say.

Real Story: Was seen talking nightly on the phone to a man later identified as Clifford Hicks from Oregon. Excerpts of phone conversation, obtained by our reporters, included Bartlett asking Hicks, “Did the Rams ever check out your ankles? Mine neither.”

4. Larry Kelm. Linebacker. Texas A&M.; Fourth round, 109th pick overall.

Rams: Kelm was a two-year starter in college and had a strong senior year although he broke his arm during spring drills. An intelligent player who reacts quickly.

Real Story: Kelm reacted real quickly when he spotted one of our guys tracking mud out of his flower bed. Add to Kelm’s bio that he can knock smallish reporters down with one forearm blow. Also, Rams not worried about Kelm’s broken arm. More concerned with ankles.

5. Scott Mersereau. Defensive lineman. Southern Connecticut. Fifth round, 136th pick overall.

Rams: Very strong and agile player who finished second on team in tackles and quarterback sacks. Majored in marketing. A project.

Real Story: Mersereau, surprisingly, did no marketing in the two days we tailed him. Seemed bored. Needs a good project to work on.

6. Jon Embree. Tight end. Colorado. Sixth round, 166th pick overall.

Rams: A dependable receiver who can catch ball in traffic. Third all-time leading receiver at Colorado, played in Senior Bowl and caught two passes.

Real Story: No insight here. Because of a typo on instructions sheet, reporters mistakenly staked out the house of Joan Embery, of San Diego Zoo fame.

7. Michael Stewart. Safety. Fresno State. Eighth round, 214th pick overall.

Rams: A punishing tackler who was drafted by the Milwaukee Brewers to play baseball. Has great leaping ability.

Real Story: Our reporters witnessed Stewart jumping an incredible height in an effort to kick himself for not signing with the Brewers.

8. Tracy Ham. Running back. Georgia Southern. Ninth round, 241st pick overall.

Rams: A great all-around athlete who played quarterback in college, Ham will be tried at running back. Only player in NCAA history to rush for more than 3,000 yards and pass for more than 5,000.

Real Story: In the wee hours of the morning, Ham was seen dumping a load of “Ham for Heisman” bumper stickers into a back-alley trash can.

9. David Smith. Linebacker. Northern Arizona. Tenth round, 273rd pick overall.

Rams: A converted defensive end who was a three-sport star at Yerington High School in Nevada.

Real Story: David Smith lives in a generic neighborhood next to the family of John Jones and across the street from Jim Johnson. One of our reporters bitten by dog named Spot.

10. Alonzo Williams. Running back. Mesa College. Twelfth round, 327th pick overall.

Rams: First-team All-American from NAIA school. Totaled 2,258 yards in two years and scored 26 touchdowns. Could make a contribution.

Real Story: The only contribution Williams made while we watched was to the United Way.

11. Fred Stokes. Defensive end. Georgia Southern. Twelfth round, 333rd pick overall.

Rams: An offensive lineman in college, but the Rams are going to try him at defensive end. Has excellent speed.

Real Story: While we watched, Stokes had his license plates changed to 333, in honor of spot picked in draft. New phone number is 333-3333. Has requested uniform number 333, but Rams have told Stokes not to push it. Look for him to sign for $33,333.33.