Kiwanis Wives Not That Upset at Prospect of Women in Club

Contrary to the opinion of a local Kiwanis Club spokesman, members’ wives would not be jealous if women joined the men-only clubs, according to an informal Times survey.

Earlier this month, Ben Jansen, past president of the North Santa Ana Kiwanis Club, said that while Kiwanians vote to exclude women every year at their annual convention, they actually wouldn’t mind admitting women.

“It is the wives of Kiwanis who object,” he said. “They wouldn’t like the idea of their husbands’ socializing and getting more and more familiar with women.”

That was his reaction to a U.S. Supreme Court ruling that the Rotary Club should not be allowed to discriminate on the basis of sex. The Rotary Club, like the Kiwanis, is a men-only service club.

But all 19 Orange County wives of Kiwanis members polled at random agreed that they would trust their husbands to socialize with women at meetings and functions. Some laughed heartily at the thought of their husbands’ straying with female Kiwanis members. Many said they thought that jealousy would be pointless--either because they have been happily married for several decades or because their husbands are surrounded by women at work anyway.

But at the same time, most said they believe that private clubs should be allowed to discriminate on the basis of sex.

“I don’t object because I don’t want them to socialize,” said Marie Hammond of Costa Mesa, summing up the prevailing attitude. “I feel the men should be permitted to have an organization they can call their own where men can fraternize together and plan civic improvements. . . . If women want to join any of the men’s organizations, let them join the Kiwaniannes (the women’s auxiliary) and leave the men to themselves.”

Besides, she added, “I’m 75 years old, married 48 years. Should I be jealous?”

‘Entitled to Private Clubs’

“I don’t think it’s a way of demeaning women,” said Diane Freeman, 43, of Brea. “People are entitled to have private clubs.”

Spokesman Jansen, 68, who made the remark about wives, is a bachelor from Tustin. He said at the time that he believed that most women would not admit that they didn’t trust their husbands. “There’s a Dutch expression: You don’t put the cat with the bacon.”

He recalled that at last summer’s Kiwanis convention in Houston, two dozen wives picketed the meeting hall with signs such as: “Don’t Destroy a Good Men’s Club” and “Wives Support Kiwanis Men.” The club voted 47% in favor of admitting women and will vote again in July. A two-thirds majority is required to change bylaws.

A board member of the all-male California Club in Los Angeles was also quoted as saying club wives fear losing their husbands if women are allowed full-member status.

“If you are going to be jealous of things like that, you don’t have very much confidence in your marriage and your association with your husband,” said Joanne Gibson, 62, wife of William Gibson, president of the Newport Beach Kiwanis Club. But she said she supports the status quo “particularly in this area. If you lived in Keokuk, Iowa, and there weren’t that many men to belong” then allowing women would be more acceptable, she said.

“I think it’s awful,” said Monique Daniel, 55, of Laguna Beach. “I can’t believe these women who want to get into everything. I’m not a career lady. I’m a housewife. I make my husband happy that way.”

Fran Miller of Laguna Hills suggested that businesswomen ought to form their own business clubs instead of trying to join Kiwanis for career purposes. However, the idea of jealousy “is so ridiculous, I can’t believe it. That was just a man’s ego coming out.”

The Kiwanians work so hard at their service projects that it would be a mistake for women to join for professional reasons anyway, said Lynne Carlin, 43, of Mission Viejo. Like others, she said men would not fit in the women’s groups to which she belongs.

“If a man walked in and sat down at our meeting, we’d be rather intimidated.”

“We have more fun when they’re not there,” said Elda Parker, 68, of Fullerton. “We talk about things they don’t understand . . . family and our personal things. As far as I’m concerned, I wouldn’t want to join.”

The “man-woman tension” might override the business at hand if men were allowed into women’s groups, said Karen Ursini, 48, of Costa Mesa. She said she was unsure whether the reverse would apply.

One of three dissenters, Fay Newcomb, 60, of Laguna Niguel said integration might provide some “insight” for Norm, her husband of 22 years. “Professional women have a lot to offer as far as the information they can give. Men would appreciate that.”

Likewise, Joan Lear of Santa Ana said she had been going to Kiwanis conventions for years. Men always “pooh-pooh” the idea of women members, but actually, she said, “very few women are against it.”