THE ROYALS UPSTAGE FILMS AT CANNES

The visit to Cannes Friday by “the Royals”--Prince Charles and Princess Diana--has been the most anticipated event of this year’s Cannes Film Festival.

But to me and to a lot of people who are here either to introduce films or to write about them, the whole thing amounted to a royal pain.

From the May 7 opening, the festival has been dominated by talk of the impending visit of Charles and Diana. When would they be here? What would they be doing? And, whatever it is, will we be invited?

Festival officials, being strummed like ukuleles by the Royals’ security people, gave various answers to all these questions for a week, occasionally holding press conferences to explain when the next press conference would be held.

Friday morning, they tried to hold another press briefing on the royal itinerary, but English film director Lindsay Anderson--while acknowledging that he thinks the royal couple do a fine job at whatever it is they do--didn’t want to give up the floor to them.

Anderson’s American-financed “Whales of August” had its world premiere here and, thank you very much, he wasn’t going to defer to the august of Wales.

“Let’s not forget, this is a film festival,” Anderson growled at festival officials as they attempted to dislodge him from the press dais. “We are supposed to be here to talk about films.”

Officially, the reason for the royal visit was the Friday-evening tribute to Sir Alec Guinness, who has done more for Britain and the surname of Guinness than either the book of records or the ale.

But the Prince and Princess of Wales don’t just pop into town, make a toast and pop out. They stop at such places as City Hall, where they can hover over commoners from a balcony and favor them with a jovial wave.

That’s OK. You don’t want to come down on tradition, no matter how condescending it may be. But try to accommodate the hundreds of photographers and reporters who want to be there to record the moment. . . .

(Here’s a thought: If only the Royals and the press showed up for one of these things, would anybody notice that there was no crowd?)

The press has been mixed in its reaction to the royal visit to Cannes. The uncertainty of events, and the groveling required to get passes to cover them, has added to an already tense association.

There are more than 4,000 accredited journalists here. Of regularly scheduled events on this planet, only the quadrennial Olympic Games attract more professional observers.

But probably most journalists would rather watch a movie, or talk to a movie maker, than cover a public appearance by someone whose value--like that of a Lhasa apso--is determined by blood.

Last week, I sat next to Isabella Rossellini at breakfast here. She is the daughter of the late Italian director Roberto Rossellini and the late Swedish/American actress Ingrid Bergman. Now, that’s what I call good blood.

Setting aside the royal distraction, this has been one of the most frenzied Cannes festivals in years. It is the 40th anniversary of the festival that began with the goal of celebrating film and came to celebrate glamour and power.

Today, Cannes is about equal parts market, competition and party. There are six different formal film series being simultaneously conducted in this crescent-shaped sliver of a coastal resort city.

So far, the most popular competition films in the festival have been “Dark Eyes,” an Italian film directed by Soviet emigre Nikita Mikhalkov, and “Prick Up Your Ears,” an English film (already released in Los Angeles) by Stephen Frears.

Two of the three official American entries have been shown already, to widely mixed reactions.

Paul Newman’s filmed adaptation of Tennessee Williams’ “The Glass Menagerie” was well received, but it is regarded more as a play than as a movie. And Andrei Konchalovsky’s “Shy People,” a moody, cultural-conflict drama set in the Louisiana bayous, was quickly dismissed by most critics here.

Incidentally, Konchalovsky and “Dark Eyes” director Mikhalkov are brothers, the first brothers to have separate films in competition in Cannes.

One of the most anticipated and provocative films of the festival is “Good Morning, Babylon,” an American-financed film showing out of competition.

“Babylon” was directed by the Italian Taviani brothers, who won the Gold Palm for “Padre Padrone” in 1977. The film is the story of two brothers--Italian artisans--who move to Hollywood in the early part of the 20th Century and launch careers building stone elephants for D. W. Griffith’s “Intolerance.”

“Babylon,” which begins and ends in Italian but is predominantly an English-language film, got a widely mixed reception from critics in Cannes. The consensus among American critics seemed to be that the non-English-speaking Taviani brothers lost their way in directing those sequences done in English.

The hottest films in the festival, in terms of American distributors competing for them, are “Dark Eyes” (Alive Pictures may soon close that deal) and two English comedies--”Wish You Were Here” and “I’ve Heard the Mermaids Singing.”

The theme of the 40th Cannes Film Festival is, for Americans, the high cost of being here. You want a banana split? $7. You want a Cannes poster? $25. You want to put up a poster for your movie outside the Carlton Hotel? $6,000.

For most participants in the festival, however, the good money news outweighs the bad. Sellers of American films say foreign buyers are spending with a vengeance.

Despite the lack of participation by the major American studios, the American presence of American stars is stronger than it has been in years.

Elizabeth Taylor was here for the gala celebration of the festival’s 40th anniversary Wednesday night. She was 45 minutes late, but she was here.

Robert De Niro was here for opening night. John Travolta flew in from Paris to make an appearance. Paul Newman was here for “The Glass Menagerie.” You can see Jon Voight almost anytime walking down the street.

Barbara Hershey. Jill Clayburgh. Joanne Woodward. Karen Allen. Norman Mailer. Gore Vidal. Melanie Griffith. Nicolas Gage. Lillian Gish.

You don’t get that kind of mix at Aspen.

There are breakfasts, lunches and dinners--several of each every day. There are receptions and teas with stars and film makers.

And there are movies--174 scheduled to be shown in Cannes on Friday alone.

You can have “Dogs in Space,” but I really did want to see John Sayles’ “Matewan,” famed photographer Bruce Webber’s documentary “Broken Noses,” Wayne Wang’s “Slam Dance” and Norman Mailer’s “Tough Guys Don’t Dance.”

But no. Prince Charles and Lady Di were in town, standing on a balcony, and I had to be there. Didn’t want to miss anything.