LET ME BE PERFECTLY CLEAR . . .

Would you buy a Honda Scooter from Richard Nixon? We’ll never know, cuz the former President won’t be joining the ranks of Honda pitchers Grace Jones, Jim McMahon and Lou Reed. But Honda execs tried to get him.

They made “a few calls” in January hoping Nixon might promote their scooters on TV, said Neil Leventhal, a national ad manager for Honda, but got turned down: “I’m not sure if we went to his law firm or what. He was such a long shot.”

Among the script ideas rung up the flag pole: “They’re easier to use than a tape recorder--honest” and “They’re more fun than being President.”

Honda since decided to forgo celebs (“The overuse of personalities on the market has begun to dilute the value of it”), opting for a “docudrama, almost home-movie flavor approach instead”--like the scooter ride through San Francisco that first aired last week, Leventhal said.

Still, he added, “the possibilities of having someone like Nixon are so intriguing. . . . Maybe now we can get Gary Hart.”