The Joke Is Again on Cleveland

This was the year the Indians were going to put an end to all those Cleveland jokes, but they’re back in the basement where they’ve become fair game again.

In “Baseball . . . A Laughing Matter,” published by the Sporting News, there’s a whole section of Cleveland jokes, including the one about Len Barker.

Barker, a pitcher, was traded to the Atlanta Braves in 1983 for three players to be named later.

Duane Kuiper, a San Francisco Giant infielder who had spent the first 10 years of his career in the Cleveland organization, said he understood why the Indians didn’t announce their new acquisitions immediately.

“I presume,” Kuiper said, “that the names were withheld pending notification of their next of kin.”

Add Cleveland: Some one-liners from the book:

--Ken (Hawk) Harrelson: “The best part of playing for the Indians is that you don’t have road trips to Cleveland.”

--Bobby Bragan, former manager: “The only thing I know is that a three-time loser is a baseball manager going to Cleveland in an Edsel.”

--Jim Kern, pitcher: “The first thing they do in Cleveland, if you have talent, is trade you for three guys who don’t.”

--Ray Nock, Indian booster: “We’re just two or three pitchers away from being a fourth-place club.”

Trivia Time: Who is the only pitcher in history to win 30 games in a season, 300 in a career and strike out 3,000 batters? (Answer below.)

Life-Begins-at-40 Dept.: Nolan Ryan began the season with a lifetime earned-run average of 3.15 and an average of 9.3 strikeouts a game. This season, he has an ERA of 2.96 and is averaging 10.6 strikeouts.

Says Giant Manager Roger Craig: “He’s got to have the best arm God put on a man. He’s got to have a bionic arm to throw the way he does.”

Said Larry Holmes, when asked to pick the winner of the Michael Spinks-Gerry Cooney fight next Monday night: “I’m rooting all the way for Cooney. I have no love for either fighter, but I love Gerry more.

“Cooney will knock him out. It won’t go six rounds if Cooney fights him the way he fought me. He’s too big. He hits too hard.

“Michael doesn’t punch as hard as me, and I don’t punch as hard as Cooney.”

From Frank Gifford, recalling those Monday nights in the booth with Howard Cosell and Don Meredith: “I always felt more like a psychiatrist than a play-by-play man. The only problem we had with Don was hoping he’d find the right city.”

Said Kansas City Royal Manager Billy Gardner when asked his first thought on returning to the Metrodome, where he formerly managed the Minnesota Twins: “Ron Davis. He got a stiff neck watching the home runs.”

Cleveland Cavalier Coach Lenny Wilkens, on the easygoing manner of Wilt Chamberlain: “There are a lot of guys walking around today because Wilt didn’t lose his temper.”

Trivia Answer: Walter Johnson. He had seasons of 32-12 and 36-7, and lifetime totals of 416 wins and 3,508 strikeouts. Quotebook

Bill (Spaceman) Lee, announcing his candidacy for President on the Rhinoceros Party ticket: “I’ll live in Washington and I’ll pitch for the Washington Senators. I’ll bring baseball back to the city. It’ll be the law.”