THE PAPAL VISIT : Official Position on Gays Disregarded : Small Catholic Church Lends Faith, Support to AIDS Victims

AIDS has dragged John Lo Coco to the edge of death twice so far this year, and twice the husky real-estate agent has slowly struggled back to a deceptive degree of outward health.

While he was bedridden, however, and in the emotionally taxing times since then, Lo Coco has been visited regularly by several friends who do his chores, fix his meals, wash his clothes--and, just as important, talk and listen.

The friends are volunteers from the small Holy Redeemer Catholic Church in the hilly heart of San Francisco, several of the 100 or so volunteers who have established an outreach program, the Holy Redeemer Support Group, to comfort those afflicted with AIDS.

‘Intrinsic Moral Evil’

At a time of strained relations between the Catholic Church and many gays--prompted by a Vatican statement last year calling homosexuality “an intrinsic moral evil”--the outreach program demonstrates that there are still signs of close personal bonds between individuals on both sides of the controversy.

And despite a lingering antipathy toward Pope John Paul II as an individual and toward his conservative views, many gay men and women cling fiercely to their Catholic faith and their personal relationships with God.

Lo Coco, for example, said the Holy See’s sharp criticism of homosexuality convinced him at first to ignore the the Pope’s visit to San Francisco later this month, especially the pontiff’s scheduled meeting with AIDS patients.

“But the pride of being a Christian and a Catholic has changed my mind,” Lo Coco, 55, said during a recent visit by two volunteers to his apartment in the fashionable Marina district. “I want to participate; I want to represent my parish.”

Love and Support

The turnaround, he made plain, was fostered by the love and support he has received from the outreach volunteers of the Holy Redeemer parish.

“This is what Christ told us Christianity is all about,” he said. “It is a constant nurturing without labeling and without criticism.”

The outreach program began informally three years ago at Holy Redeemer Church, a modest building on a small side street between two of the city’s varied residential districts, the predominantly gay Castro and ethnic, middle-class Eureka Valley.

Some of the support group members are gay themselves; some are relatives of gay men cut down in their youth by the deadly virus, which cripples the body’s ability to resist pneumonia and other infectious diseases. Others in the group are simply Catholics who care.

The program at Holy Redeemer, which also hosts a 15-bed AIDS hospice in an unused convent, has received scattered publicity around the world, and other parishes--in San Francisco and elsewhere--have said they are interested in copying it.

Christian Duty

Italo Tulipano, a support-group volunteer and friend of Lo Coco, said that he joined the Holy Redeemer program because he believes it is his Christian duty to minister to those in need, regardless of official church doctrine on ancillary issues, such as homosexuality.

“We are learning how better to live what Christ has taught us,” he said, “which is to tear down barriers between us and to help people on a one-to-one basis. . . . Because of this, I’ve come to know more about me and I’ve come much closer to my faith.”

That also is the program’s goal for AIDS patients themselves, said Father John McGrann of Holy Redeemer. In addition to providing basic human needs and comfort, the volunteers by their very presence and faith help their clients come to grips with death.

Getting Down to Basics

“We are just coming down to the basics,” he said. “Jesus said, don’t be afraid (of death). It’s in the Bible 365 times. So we’re learning to live that and to help others live it, too--to help them realize that there is a time to let go of your fear (of death) and become closer to God.”

Lo Coco himself has now volunteered to counsel people newly diagnosed as having AIDS, despite having been so close to death earlier this year that McGrann had twice given him the last rites.

Having benefited from the help of others, he said, he feels duty-bound now to do at least as much for people confronted with the initial heart-wrenching diagnosis of AIDS.

“I’m lucky in that my family still loves and supports me . . . but some of these people feel abandoned by everybody,” he said. “You really want to cry sometimes (when diagnosed with AIDS), and your support person is like a sponge you cry into. It is important to have that person there--I know how important it is.”

With the Pope coming to town, he added, there may be no better time to show the importance of compassion and understanding when it comes to homosexuality, AIDS and the church.

“We can’t convert the Pope,” he said, “but I hope that by example we can show him something.”