ROLLING THE CREDITS--AND QUOTES : Ouch! Those Critical Quips in Movie Ads Leaves This Reviewer in Pain

Bet you didn’t know that Woodrow Wilson, the 24th President of the United States and the subject of a 1944 20th Century Fox film, also turned out to be a bit of a film critic. In 1915, after seeing D. W. Griffith’s “Birth of a Nation,” he said: “It was like watching history written with a lightning bolt.” The comment, to the best of anybody’s knowledge, was the first instance of a quote being used in newspaper ads to promote a motion picture.

Ever since then, the use of quotes to promote movies has grown into a very serious business. Their importance is underscored by the words of a prominent marketing executive who gave solace to an Oscar-winning director after his film had opened to less than sterling reviews. He cautioned him to keep in mind that “reviews are just for a day, but quotes will last forever.”

“The summer’s best summer movie.”-- Richard Corliss

on “Innerspace,” Time

It’s been my experience that the use of quotes from reviews I’ve written leaves me persistently in pain. Take, for instance, the Samuel Goldwyn Co.’s recent release, “Ping Pong.” Prominent in the promotion is the quote: “Part Thriller, Part Romance, and Totally Fascinating.--Los Angeles Times” (that’s me , actually).

I maintain that credit should be given where credit is due. I wrote that. Not a headline writer or editor or someone in the sales department.

“This summer’s greatest escape . “ --Michael Medved on “The Living

Daylights,” “Sneak Previews”

Otherwise very intelligent and reputable people in the movie industry will insist that critics aren’t important to the success or failure of most movies.

If reviews--particularly favorable ones--were of no importance, several things would occur immediately. There would be plenty of space in newspaper advertising where quotes would normally be placed and distributors, unafraid of any possible reaction to a film, would screen all their movies for the critics. But none of this is the case. So why then are quotes used so extensively?

Dare we suggest that one reason is there are egos to be stroked? And if reviews are meaningless, then you have to wonder why the folks at Orion Classics went out of their way to quote the rarely quoted David Sterritt of the Christian Science Monitor. Was it simply because they felt his comments on “Rita, Sue and Bob Too”--”Plenty of Sex. Inescapably Vivid.”--were the most incisive and descriptive things written on the film?

“Hilarious summer fun.”

--Marilyn Beck on “Summer School,” Chicago Tribune

Syndicate

If the sensitivity and education argument doesn’t seem plausible, you might consider that despite all protestations, these critical quips are deemed to make a difference. They are weighed, balanced, inspected, dissected and, where it counts, accepted and injected.

Whew!

But all quotes and quoters are not created equally. Today, the ultimate seal of approval is “Two thumbs up!--Siskel & Ebert & the Movies.” It’s simple and gets the critics off the hook insofar as having to be witty or insightful. You’ll be pleased to know “Dragnet,” “La Bamba,” “Jean de Florette,” “Wish You Were Here” and “RoboCop” all received favorable digital positioning.

S&E; are also cited in ads for “Roxanne” (“a comic masterpiece”) and “Adventures in Babysitting” (“much more entertaining than ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’ ”) without reference to thumbs. It’s the type of curious absence that naturally provokes suspicion. (Actually, the duo gave “Roxanne” two thumbs up and split on “Babysitting”). Cineplex Odeon goes so far as to feature two quotes from Ebert for “Withnail and I,” seemingly to make up for the fact Siskel didn’t like it.

“The suspense-filled laugh riot of the summer.” --Mike McGrady

on “Stakeout,” Newsday

Logic suggests even these brief snippets from reviews ought to tell you something about a movie. However, the developed marketing science strives for just the opposite.

One of the most popular devices is to use quotes that refer to other films. The new film is “better,” “funnier,” “the best since” or “in the great tradition of” some past success. Of course, this is misleading because we’re not told how much the reviewer liked or disliked the earlier movie.

Failing this comparative shopping style, there’s always hyperbole. Movies are “the most,” “smash,” “glorious,” “blockbuster,” “winning,” “dynamite,” “sure-fire,” “10+” and “.” It’s unclear whether this escalation of praise is generated by the distributors or the critics themselves.

Gene Shalit referred to Mel Brooks’ “Spaceballs” as registering “eight trillion on the laugh meter.” Subtlety is not viewed as a selling device in Hollywood.

The notoriously numerical Gary Franklin of KABC--usually associated with film reviewing--even has the audacity to use his film form for non-movie events. For a recent performance of the Bolshoi Ballet, his verdict was a “10-ski.” Bolshoi ads preferred to leave it a simple “10,” demonstrating the kind of restraint that is anathema to movie marketeers.

The most entertaining film of the summer . “ --Janet Maslin on “The

Untouchables,” New York Times

To turn the tables for a moment, how do the critics fare as tub thumpers? This isn’t a question of literacy, perception or taste. It all boils down to an ability to write in a style suitable for advertising. It’s something Jeffrey Lyons has (“The jokes come at you faster than a machine gun on ‘Dragnet’ ”) but Pauline Kael could never accommodate.

Masters of this medium include Joel Siegel (“Powerful! Real! Exquisitely Acted!” on “A Man in Love”) and, my favorite, Rex Reed. The latter reached new heights recently with his vaguely threatening “you have to be dead not to like it” concerning “Benji, the Hunted.” Many of us chose not to test out his belief.

“One of the funniest comedies of the summer . “

--Jim Emerson on “Back to the

Beach,” Orange County Register

There are legions of stories about out-of-context quotes. It is so common, one might believe the marketeers were acting as vigilantes for everyone who’s been misquoted in newspapers. But poor Rick Groen of the Toronto Globe and Mail had to endure his name attached to “. . . perfect . . .” describing Woody Allen’s “Radio Days.” Groen had written of the film, “No doubt about it, stooping to the challenge, Allen has turned out the perfect Hallmark card.”

I can’t top that one personally. I’ll admit to getting a real kick about having my name attached to a movie ad, but must confess that I’ve rarely been up to the challenge of writing something worth quoting. A rare exception was a line from a review I wrote for the Winnipeg Free Press about “Arthur” (which was used): “Arthur is rich with laughs.” Hardly a gem, but it sounds better when spoken in iambic pentameter.