Say This for Uecker: He Doesn’t Put on Airs

Bob Uecker told a reporter that his dad came from the old country, where he was on the soccer team.

Reporter: “What position did he play?”

Uecker: “Oh, he didn’t play. He blew up the balls. That’s where I got a lot of my talent.”

When cornerback Elvis Patterson was a rookie with the New York Giants, he was nicknamed “Toast” by Coach Bill Parcells.

It wasn’t because he was the toast of the town.

“It was because he was always getting burned,” said a teammate.

On Monday night, Parcells had seen enough. After Patterson got burned on a 56-yard bomb to Chicago’s Willie Gault, he was placed on waivers.

Trivia Time: On this date in 1968, Gaylord Perry of San Francisco beat St. Louis, 1-0, with a no-hitter. What happened the next day at Candlestick Park? (Answer below.)

That triple play at Dodger Stadium recalled this line from George Bamberger after a team pulled off one against his Milwaukee Brewers: “It took us right out of the inning.”

Add Bamberger: When people were trying to figure out how Gaylord Perry was loading up his greaseballs, he said: “Everybody thinks that all the places he touches are decoys. I don’t think any are decoys. I think he’s got that stuff everywhere.”

Add Forgettable Quotes: Said Tom Lasorda after the Dodgers beat the Chicago Cubs, 12-0, in the last game before the All-Star break: “We’re going to have a good second half. I can feel it in my bones. My bones tingle. They were tingling out there today.”

Tingling? Maybe it was a death rattle.

Philadelphia Manager Lee Elia, on outfielder Chris James: “I remember seeing him in an instructional league game back in 1980 or ’81. Someone mentioned to me that they had this good-looking kid named Chris James.

“I stayed to watch the game, and in his first at-bat, he hit a home run over the right-field fence. In his second at-bat, he hit a home run over the left-field fence. In his third at-bat, he hit a homer over the center-field fence. It kind of left an impression.”

Boston College receiver Darren Flutie, on quarterback Mike Power, who will call the signals against USC Saturday: “He has great talent, probably more than anybody who’s played here.”

Yes, that includes Darren’s brother, Doug.

Would-you-believe-it dept.: At the age of 40, Nolan Ryan is in position to win his first strikeout title in the National League.

If he does, he won’t be the first to win in both leagues. Rube Waddell led the National League in 1900 with Pittsburgh and the American League six times with the Philadelphia Athletics. Ryan led the AL seven times with the Angels.

Sweden’s Patrik Sjoberg, world record-holder in the high jump, makes enough in appearance money and endorsements to pursue his passion for fast sports cars.

“But I’ve got to get another car,” he said. “There are simply too many Porsches in Goteborg. I don’t want to be Mr. Everyman.”

Trivia Answer: Ray Washburn of St. Louis pitched a no-hitter to beat San Francisco, 2-0. Thus, on successive days, there were back-to-back no-hitters.

Quotebook

Sandy Koufax, told that New York Mets Manager Davey Johnson likes to brag that he got the last hit off Koufax when playing for Baltimore in the 1966 World Series: “Yeah, that’s why I retired.”