REAGAN MEDIA MAVENS KNOW THEIR NETWORKS

ABC, CBS and NBC really showed Ronald Reagan. Nyeh nyeh nyeh-nyeh nyeh.

The networks turned down the President’s request for airtime Wednesday to make a televised statement supporting his floundering Supreme Court nominee, Robert H. Bork. They contended that the President’s short statement would not be newsworthy enough to merit live coverage.

Hence, Reagan’s midday statement lambasting Bork critics--followed by a blistering counterattack by Sen. Terry Sanford (D-N.C.)--was carried live only on Cable News Network, limiting the President’s live TV exposure to less than half the nation.

But really, what difference did it make?

After rejecting Reagan’s request for airtime, the big three networks went ahead and aired chunks of his statement in their Wednesday-night newscasts--as the media-smart White House knew they would.

It’s getting harder to distinguish the tail from the dog.

The Reagan statement deemed unworthy of live coverage turned out to be worthy of a big play on local and national newscasts. There he was, sincere expression, brown suit, seated at his desk, family pictures in the background as he went on about the “ugly spectacle” of the Bork confirmation hearings.

Excerpts of Sanford’s rebuttal that were aired in varying lengths seemed thin and pale by comparison.

The networks did the right thing in exercising editorial judgment and denying Reagan live airtime. No President--especially one so rarely accessible to the press--should be allowed to go on live TV whenever he wants or to usurp airtime for a statement that promises to be a partisan blast. Presidents already have enough free access to the airwaves--witness those countless Rose Garden strolls and meaningless photo opportunities that have become a staple of evening newscasts.

However, even with the live-TV rejection by the major networks, Wednesday’s episode was another media victory for the White House. The President’s 12:15 p.m. (PDT) statement on CNN was in plenty of time to make the evening newscasts on the major networks. So if Reagan didn’t get all the live coverage he wanted, he certainly made up for it later.

The presidential pictorial lives.

Presidents are not the only ones with near-automatic access to TV. Try authors.

If Bob Woodward asked the networks for live airtime, for example, he might get it. Woodward, author of the enormously hyped “Veil: The Secret Wars of the CIA, 1981-1987,” has now surpassed even Jessica Hahn for TV appearances in October. You have the feeling he could turn up next on “Hollywood Squares.”

Woodward began with Mike Wallace on “60 Minutes” and has since made the rounds of “Nightline,” “Donahue,” “Crossfire” and you name it. Whatever the initial news value associated with his book--the disputed four-minute interview with former CIA Director William Casey and so on--it has long since passed.

What is left is raw promotion--Woodward repeating himself again and again. And repeating the name of his book again and again. He should give his interviewers a share of the profits.

Television’s interview, talk and morning shows have always been fertile turf for promotions and promoters of infinite varieties. Just as the TV industry continually advertises itself, the stars of the latest movies and the authors of the latest books are always welcome in front of the camera if they are provocative or sexy enough to draw viewers to the screen.

The promotion axis continues, from ABC’s “Good Morning America” to CBS’ “The Morning Program.” As Woodward starts to fade out, Shere Hite, whose latest tome is “Women and Love, a Cultural Revolution in Progress,” begins to fade in.

Finally, some words from the unfading Jim and Tammy Bakker (nicknamed “Tammy Teardrops” by Jesse Kornbluth in Vanity Fair magazine).

Mickey Rooney has made a TV spot urging support of the Bakkers, the former PTL evangelists and proprietors of the collapsing Heritage USA, an amusement park for Christian fundamentalists.

“Won’t you call Jim and Tammy now?” Rooney says. “They need your friendship.”

A 900 number then appears on the screen. So I called.

What you get for the price of your long-distance call is a two-minute recorded message from the Bakkers talking about their hopes and dreams--and troubles.

“Hello, this is Tammy.”

“Hi, this is Jim Bakker.”

And they’re off.

“Do you really want PTL back?” asks Tammy, who is Jim’s Ed McMahon. “I really don’t want to go back,” he replies. “The Charlotte Observer has attacked us for 15 years straight. To go back there is going to be hell. We know that.”

“Yes, we do know,” Tammy chirps.

Jim says there are times when he wants to chuck it all, stay home, retire and write a book.

“But. . . , “ Tammy says.

“But. . . , “ Jim says.

Duty calls. The Bakkers would still return to Heritage USA “to fulfill our commitment” to build a “21st-Century Christian retreat center.”

“If the people want that,” Jim adds.

Following the Bakkers, another recorded voice speaks: “If you haven’t heard this entire message, please hold on. It will repeat.”

Count on it.