Election ’88 Forecast: Gonzo-Style

Hunter S. Thompson is predicting that Sen. Edward M. Kennedy of Massachusetts will join the field of Democratic presidential candidates “as late as possible” and snap up the 1988 nomination.

On the Republican side, he believes Vice President George Bush will fade in favor of Senate Minority Leader Bob Dole, who will be nominated “unless Richard Nixon gets into it.”

“Just for sport, I would say Teddy Kennedy will be the next President,” he says.

Until that happens, Thompson--a self-confessed partisan while covering political campaigns--confides, “I think I’ve adopted Paul Simon. Did you see the article in the New Republic? They said he’s got lips like Mick Jagger and eyes like a baboon. But he seems like the only one of the candidates who’s going to be around.”

Here are his capsule views of the race:

Jesse Jackson: “Jesse’s going to win about half of Super Tuesday. He’s the most effective politician I’ve seen in a long time. I would rest easy if Jesse were running the store. But Jesse will probably end up as vice president with Teddy.”

Michael Dukakis: “He’s gone, right?”

Joe Biden: “If I’d been Biden, I wouldn’t have pulled out. I’d have told them, ‘What’s so terrible about stealing from Bobby Kennedy?’ Writers are defined by their tastes in thievery.”

George Bush: “He’s a politician like I’m a dope fiend--a pretty serious one. He’s got one hell of a resume and still has to have help to put his pants on in the morning.”

Bob Dole: “A brighter version of Gerald Ford. He’s a contrived professional politician.”

Alexander Haig: “My kind of man. You see that wicked weird look in his eye when you talk to him. I saw it when I was full of mescaline and interviewed him on the front lawn (of Nixon’s Western White House) at San Clemente.”

Pat Robertson: “He has no more chance than Jesse Jackson. But Robertson will make money on the campaign selling his tapes. He’ll be rejected but he’ll find it quite profitable.”