It’s Not What You’d Call a Vote of Confidence

Don Zimmer, new manager of the Chicago Cubs, was asked if he would hire Bill (Spaceman) Lee, who pitched for him at Boston, as his pitching coach.

“No,” Zimmer said. “I’m voting for him as president.”

Lee is running on the Rhinoceros Party ticket.

At Boston, Lee nicknamed Zimmer the Gerbil, and according to the Chicago Tribune, there is no love lost between the two.

A couple of years ago, when Zimmer was asked to recall a few Bill Lee stories, he replied, “I’ll talk to you about Adolf Hitler but not Bill Lee.”

Said Green Bay assistant coach Dick Modzelewski after Forrest Gregg quit as Packer coach to take the coaching job at Southern Methodist: “Recruiting is not like the draft. You have to kiss people. I can’t see Forrest kissing mom and pop to get their kid to go to SMU.”

From Lou Holtz, one-time Ohio State assistant coach, agreeing that the transition from artificial turf to grass has hurt Big Ten teams in the Rose Bowl: “It’s a case of familiar footing. I had a fraternity brother who was the conference swimming champion. We had an argument, and he said, ‘Let’s go out in 10 feet of water and discuss this.’ ”

Trivia Time: Who are the only two skiers who have swept three Alpine events in the Olympic Winter Games? (Answer to follow.)

Poor Doug Collins. The Chicago Bulls coach was trying to be the peacemaker last Saturday night when Detroit’s Ricky Mahorn picked him up and threw him onto the press table.

Remember when Philadelphia’s Darryl Dawkins and Portland’s Maurice Lucas got into that brawl during the 1976-77 NBA playoffs? Dawkins missed so badly on a punch that he connected with Collins, his teammate, sending him to the dressing room, where he was treated for an eye cut.

If you think cricket is a pantywaist sport played strictly for the tea-and-crumpet set, you haven’t been reading the accounts of London journalist Colin Evans. Here’s the start of a recent story:

“West Indian fast bowler Patrick Patterson at last produced the goods for Lancashire at Old Trafford yesterday when championship leaders Essex were brutally shot out for 71 in 2 1/2 hours of mayhem.

“Patterson ravaged them with 6 for 46 from 12-4 overs, his most hostile spell in the championship this season, and the innings capsized in the 33rd over.”

Got that?

Mike Tyson, on Larry Holmes: “Perhaps in his mind he’s very serious, but everyone knows that Larry Holmes sometimes speaks before his brain is in motion.”

Add Tyson: Introduced to boxing writer Dave Raffo of UPI, he became visibly upset.

“One of your trucks ran over my dog,” he said.

Coming to the writer’s rescue was a Tyson aide who said, “No, no, Mike. That was UPS.”

From Stan Isaacs of Newsday: “When a young black journalist from Hunter College recently asked renowned boxing personality Ray Leonard why he is serving as a spokesman for Coors beer in view of that company’s alleged anti-union and anti-black bias, Leonard said, ‘I leave such matters to Jesse Jackson.’ ”

Seattle Seahawks Coach Chuck Knox, on the outstanding consistency of receiver Steve Largent: “I have only really had one other player I could put in that category. It was Merlin Olsen. I’m talking every single Sunday, and every game day, they were ready to compete to the best of their ability.”

Trivia Answer: Toni Sailer of Austria in 1956 and Jean-Claude Killy of France in 1968.

Quotebook

Doug Williams of the Washington Redskins, told that Warren Moon of the Houston Oilers said he wanted to be the first black quarterback to play in a Super Bowl: “Warren will have to be the second, bless his heart.”