It Promises to Be a Fairy-Tale Season for Harrick, Brown

It’s not an easy situation Jim Harrick is stepping into, but don’t try to dampen the guy’s enthusiasm. This is a relentlessly upbeat man. Every time I run into Harrick, he looks as if he just got 12 hours’ sleep and an invitation to the “Big Spin.”

If you were to ask him how it feels to be UCLA’s fourth choice as basketball coach, behind Larry Brown, Jim Valvano and Mike Krzyzewski, Harrick probably would say: “With a lineup like that, it’s an honor to be batting cleanup.”

Just look how well Harrick is accepting his demotion from Pepperdine to UCLA. He actually seems happy to be leaving a school where the leading cause of stress on campus is choosing the proper grade of sunscreen. He is moving out of an office that looks out over a lawn bigger than Augusta National, sweeping down to the Pacific Ocean beyond.

After a hard day, Harrick could put his feet up on his desk and watch the tide carry movie stars’ homes out to sea. He was peaceful and secure.

Now he is taking over a program that has been unable to attract fans, recruits or big-name coaches. He is moving into an office with a view of the Wooden Center, named after a man so astoundingly successful that he rendered the UCLA coaching job impossible for the next 5 or 10 shoe-fillers.

Harrick is leaving a school that takes in major-university basketball dropouts, and starting at a school that produces them.

Fortunately, Harrick has solid credentials. His bio shows that he is a Morris Harvey man. I used to be a Morris Harvey man myself, but I sold the damn thing because it’s so hard to get parts.

Looking on the positive side, as Harrick would want us all to do, it should be an exciting season for Jim and the Bruins. And for Larry and the Jayhawks. Here’s an advance look at some of the highlights:

--Larry Brown signs to film a telephone company TV commercial with the theme, “Reach out, reach out and reconsider.” The day of the scheduled filming, Brown phones the ad agency, saying he has signed to do a cookie commercial instead.

--Fall practice opens and rumors persist that Brown is still considering the UCLA job. He holds a press conference in Lawrence, Kan., to announce that he is almost surely staying. One observant reporter notices that under his white dress shirt, Brown is wearing a UCLA T-shirt.

--The Bruins hit a legal snag when it is discovered that Brown, on one of his trips West, signed shoe contracts for the team with both Nike and Converse. A potentially ugly confrontation is avoided when Harrick agrees to let his players wear Nikes on their left feet and Converse on their right.

--Peter Dalis is quizzed by the press on the specifics of the coach-selection process.

“We gathered extensive data on virtually every top coach in the land,” Dalis says. “Our knowledgeable experts and I carefully and thoroughly evaluated every top candidate.”

A reporter mentions a strong rumor that one coach who was very much interested in the UCLA job was Billy Tubbs.

Dalis replies: “Who?”

--Conference play begins. Brown phones UCLA Chancellor Charles Young to reiterate that he will not take the Bruin job, but asks: “Um, if I had taken the job, would it have been possible to be paid my salary in British currency, to take advantage of the favorable exchange rate?”

--In Lawrence, Nike and Converse both lose the bidding war to be the Jayhawks’ official shoe. In a surprise move, Brown signs with Bass Weejins, and Kansas becomes the first college basketball team to take the court in penny loafers.

--More rumors that Brown still covets the UCLA job. To quell the buzz, UCLA sends a private jet to Kansas to bring Brown to Westwood for a set-the-record-straight press conference.

High above Barstow (no relation to Gene), Brown decides the trip won’t be necessary and orders the pilot to turn the plane around. Several changes of heart later, the plane runs short of fuel and is forced to land in the parking lot of a Dairy Dee-lite in Beaver, Utah. There, Brown picks up a hitchhiker who claims to be Howard Hughes but looks suspiciously like Sam Gilbert.

--Harrick moves his family to Westwood, selling his Malibu home to a broker representing an anonymous college professor from Kansas who wants the Malibu place as a summer hideaway.

--USC opens the season 1-9 and nobody notices.

--UCLA opens the season 8-2, losing to North Carolina and Pepperdine, and the UCLA alumni are reportedly demanding Harrick’s termination and the re-instatement of Walt Hazzard. Hazzard announces that he couldn’t take the job back anyway, since he has signed a contract to be a regular on “The Cosby Show.”

--Loyola Marymount opens 10-0, including an exhibition win over the Lakers, and someone asks Dalis how strongly he considered Paul Westhead for the UCLA job.

Dalis replies: “Who?”

--UCLA wins the Pac-10 title but is knocked out of the Final Four by Morris Harvey. Kansas wins the NCAA title again.

In Lawrence, a dour and downcast Brown holds a press conference to announce the signing of a lifetime contract with Kansas as basketball coach, university president and campus footwear consultant. An alert reporter notices that under Brown’s dress shirt he is wearing a USC T-shirt, and that his fingers are crossed.