Thoughts on Malone’s Career Move, Bowa the Journalist . . . and More

A few things you may have been wondering . . .

The Chargers don’t really think Mark Malone is going to get them into the playoffs, do they?

Malone’s acquisition was not accompanied by trumpets and klieg lights. The Chargers, to their credit, are not billing him as a savior.

In truth, no quarterback could come in here and turn this into a playoff team. With John Elway, Dan Marino or Jim Kelly, these guys would be maybe 8-8 in ’88. That’s how important the quarterback will be.

If there were not so many other things wrong with the Chargers, they would not even be looking for a quarterback. Dan Fouts still would be playing.

But isn’t Malone just awful?

Pittsburgh’s fans, their hearts as warm and pure as the Monongahela River, thought Mark Malone was just awful. They treated him like a pollutant rather than a guy who was putting on his hard hat and trying to win a game or two for the hometown team.

Malone, of course, has the last laugh. He is coming to San Diego . . . and the fans who booed him still have to live in Pittsburgh.

Why is Larry Bowa’s book entitled “Bleep”?

I had started to wonder. He remained uncharacteristically calm throughout the season-opening five-game losing streak. The stern set of his jaw was a tipoff that the man was not pleased, but he resisted the temptation to rant and rave.

After Thursday’s 2-0 win over the Dodgers, I expected to find an ebullient Larry Bowa. I thought maybe three wins in four games would bring a smile to his face.

Instead, I stumbled into a journalism seminar that apparently had something to do with coverage of Wednesday night’s 4-3 loss to the Dodgers.

“It’s easy to second-guess,” Bowa told the gathered media. “First-guess . . . Instead of writing your (book title) stories, ask me what my (book title) reasoning is. Get both sides of the story. Ask me why I do things. Don’t just rip my (book title). Don’t (book title) it upon yourselves to think you know the (book title) answers. . . . Just give me the (book title) courtesy like I’ve given you. Don’t rip my (book title) (book title). . . . Come to me and let me get my (book title) two cents’ worth in. . . . You think that’s fair?”

It sounds fair to me, but I fear that the whole scenario might have been an Ali-esque ploy to promote his book.

What did Bowa mean when he said he wanted to be “first - guessed”?

I was a little baffled at first, since my assumption was that the person making the first guess was the person making the original decision.

Then it hit me.

Larry Bowa wants the media’s input. Henceforth, when you see Bowa going to the telephone in the dugout, you can assume he is calling the press box for advice.

However, the media will be more understanding. Larry Bowa will be welcome to second-guess . . . just so he doesn’t print it in the book.

Is it true that Padre President Chub Feeney has developed a warm , positive rapport with his players?

It sure is. In fact, Feeney had kind words for relief pitcher Lance McCullers at a luncheon one day this week. He told him what a nice job he had done in saving the season’s first win.

The only hangup was that he was talking to John Kruk.

McCullers understood that Feeney might have been confused.

“I’ve only met him three or four times,” he said.

But he couldn’t understand how Feeney had confused him with Kruk.

“I don’t look that bad, do I?” he laughed.

Hey, that was Kruk’s line.

Chub’s Flub was well-intentioned, to be sure, but Jerry Colemanism himself understands that the best of intentions won’t keep folks from chuckling.

In the aftermath of the McCullers-Kruk mixup, for example, it has been suggested that sending second baseman Roberto Alomar to the minor leagues was a mistake. Feeney, the whispers said, had gotten the youngster confused with his father, Sandy Alomar, the 44-year-old third base coach.

To help Feeney avoid such embarrassment, perhaps bubble-gum card collectors would send their Padre duplicates. OK, Chuck?

What’s this deal with the Major Indoor Soccer League?

The owners, trying to keep from having to mortgage their firstborns, have asked the players to take a pay cut. The alternative was to have the league disbanded.

Though such a decision would seem on the surface to be rather cut and dried, negotiations have dragged since Feb. 26 while the players have contemplated whether they will continue to play soccer at reduced wages or embark upon second careers as nuclear physicists, microbiologists and petroleum engineers.

Didn’t the Chargers acquire a guy they called “a significant player” from Canada?

I remember hearing about such an announcement, but I can’t remember the guy’s name. Maybe it was Tim Raines.