Martin Insults: They Can Help Fill a Book

In Kevin Nelson’s book, “Baseball’s Greatest Insults,” considerable space is devoted to Billy Martin. Here’s what a few people have had to say:

--Rod Guidry: “If you approach Billy Martin right, he’s OK. I avoid him altogether.”

--Jim Bouton: “Lots of people look up to Billy Martin. That’s because he just knocked them down.”

--Johnny Carson: “Today is opening day in baseball. Out in Yankee Stadium, Billy Martin threw out the first punch.”

--Bob Hope: “During the strike, Billy Martin stayed in shape by kicking dirt on his dog.”

--Jerry Coleman: “You have to remember that most of Billy’s boyhood friends are in San Quentin.”

Bob Short, who employed Martin as manager of the Texas Rangers, once said to him: “Billy, one of three things is going to happen to you. You’re either going to kill somebody, somebody is going to kill you, or you’re going to kill yourself.”

Add Martin: Tom Verducci of Newsday disclosed that Commissioner Peter Ueberroth, concerned about Martin’s drinking, met personally with him in spring training but doesn’t plan any follow-up in the wake of the Texas incident.

Verducci quoted a source as saying that Ueberroth spoke with Martin after he was informed that Martin appeared to be intoxicated on at least two occasions at the winter meetings in Dallas. The manager of the New York Yankees was seen wishing a Merry Christmas in slurred speech to people he was known to dislike.

Trivia Time: Tim Brown will be the fifth Heisman Trophy winner to play for the Raiders. Name the other four. (Answer below.)

Said TBS analyst Rick Barry, when the Detroit Pistons’ Bill Laimbeer and the Chicago Bulls’ Dave Corzine squared off for the opening tip Tuesday night: “This may be the single lowest tip in the playoffs.”

As announcer Bob Neal said, “Air Laimbeer and Air Corzine, they aren’t.”

From Utah Jazz Coach Frank Layden: “I was raised in a family with eight kids. I was the youngest. Everybody said that must be great because I’d get the hand-me-downs, I’d be able to wear their clothes.

“Yeah, it was great, all right. I had seven sisters.”

Said Boston Red Sox pitcher Bruce Hurst, after the Kansas City Royals’ Bo Jackson touched him for four hits, three of them infield singles, Tuesday night: “If Bo Jackson is not the world’s fastest human, then I don’t know who is.”

Trivia Answer: Billy Cannon, Jim Plunkett, Marcus Allen, Bo Jackson. Cannon was a running back at LSU and with the Houston Oilers but played tight end with the Raiders.

Quotebook

Billy Martin, to a group of reporters during his previous term with the Yankees: “You guys write something nice when things are going right and then, with your first chance, you cut a guy wide open and leave him to bleed in public.”