Down on Mort

To compare Morton Downey Jr. with Wally George is almost as ridiculous as doing an article on either of these “broadcasters” in the first place.

Downey is merely a watered down, warmed over, inferior version of Joe Pyne, the late TV venom-vendor and his intelligent successor, Alan Burke. Downey is only a rebel without a chin.

Where Pyne and Burke, two truly psychotic egomaniacs, were able to make their shows entertainingly vindictive and almost frightening, the only thing frightening about Downey is his teeth.

Now that Downey will be gracing the syndication market, his producers need only take a look at his moronic studio audience to figure out their demographics.

An apt description of them might be the peanut gallery with a gland problem. I’ve seen more intelligently behaved and better dressed audiences at a cockfight. Instead of frisking his audience for weapons before the show (they couldn’t load ‘em if they had ‘em), perhaps someone should hose them down.

Boy, I only wish I had the dirty T-shirt concession on that show.

E.J. NOVAK

West Los Angeles