PARTIES : THAT TAKE THE CAKE

When 3-year-old Earl Thompson blew out the candles on his birthday cake, he didn’t worry about dousing them all with one breath to get his wish. He knew it was waiting for him outside.

After having his fill of cake, Earl spent his birthday astride a rented white pony, riding in circles around his Yorba Linda cul-de-sac.

“I’m the Lone Ranger,” he said again and again as he bounced in the saddle.

Earl and many other Orange County children are seeing some elaborate birthday dreams come true these days, thanks to a few innovative specialty businesses willing to do whatever it takes to grant those wishes--and parents willing to foot the bill.

Whether a child asks for a puppet show or a portable petting zoo, a back-yard carnival or a make-believe visit to a foreign land, it is available, if only for a few hours.

For some families, it is a matter of keeping up with the Junior Joneses. For those with two incomes, crowded schedules and plumper wallets, it is a logical option. And, of course, there are those parents who just want a chance to live out some of their own childhood fantasies.

Ponies? Jonathan Hubbard of Newport Beach had those last year, along with Dixie and Doodle the Clowns. This year, when he turned 4, at his request Dixie and Doodle were back for a party at the Balboa Bay Club that also included a harbor cruise--with personalized life jackets as party favors, a puppet show and the launching of hundreds of brightly colored balloons.

Melissa Pazornik, 3 1/2, got to live out a fantasy last Saturday even though her birthday is months away. Her Huntington Harbour back yard was magically transformed into an English garden, where she and her meticulously dressed guests sat down for tea and pastries, only to be interrupted by a party crasher: a girl named Alice in search of a white rabbit.

There was magic at Amy Deal’s house in Orange, too, as Whodini the Magician brought his tricks right into her living room to commemorate her 5th birthday.

“I didn’t ask (my parents) for it, but it was what I wanted,” Amy said after the show. “Next year, I want to do crafts.”

Olivier Rassinoux of Laguna Niguel, however, didn’t get what he asked for when he turned 5. His first choice, according to his mother, Nora, was a visit to Chuck E. Cheese, the national chain of pizza restaurants featuring video games and animated mechanical animals that caters to children’ birthday parties. “We talked him out of it,” she said. “I wanted to stay away from places like that. It’s crowded, noisy, and I don’t think it’s very personal.”

Instead, Olivier was visited by Francie, a Huntington Beach mom who blew bubbles, hid stuffed animals in the bushes for a “nature walk” and led the birthday boy, his 7-year-old brother, Pascal, and 12 other guests in songs and games. He was anything but disappointed.

“The demand really is blossoming,” said Francie Rosen, who prefers to stay on a first-name basis with the children she entertains. “A lot of moms are working now. They’re tired, and they just can’t juggle it all. They’re overwhelmed. Or even if they don’t have jobs, if they have more than one child or a brand new baby, they just can’t do two things at once.”

And many of their young customers have party schedules that are nearly as hectic.

“I buy at least six birthday presents a month,” said Rochelle Pazornik of Laguna Niguel, Melissa’s aunt and mother of the young hostess’s cousin, Amanda, 5. “It seems like everybody’s throwing parties.”

Melissa’s other cousins, Shannon and Kimberly Gimbel, 7 and 9, of Whittier, almost missed her party because they had accepted an invitation to another one. “They were supposed to go to a sleep-over party last night, but the little girl wasn’t feeling well, so it was canceled,” said their grandmother, Shiela Gimbel, who brought the girls to Melissa’s party Saturday while their parents worked. “And they’ve got another one tomorrow afternoon.”

“I wanted to give her a memory, something she’s going to have forever,” said Melissa’s mother, Barbara Pazornik. Her party, to celebrate not a birthday but the end of the preschool year, was put on by Glendora-based Tea & Cakes Parties, which charges $600 for “afternoon tea parties for the wee ones.”

Jonathan’s mother, Vicki Hubbard, said she spent that much just for the helium-filled balloons covering the ceiling at her son’s party.

Spending several thousand dollars for a child’s party isn’t uncommon in Orange County, according to Dixie Hibberd, owner of A Dixie Doodle Entertainment in Orange. Hibberd performs at many of those parties as Dixie the Clown (her husband, Preston, is Doodle), and also books other acts and handles arrangements from food to decorations.

But creating a birthday memory doesn’t have to cost thousands, or even hundreds. Rosen charges $70 for a minimum of 12 children and $1 for each additional child, including her performance, goodie bags and balloons. Whodini, who is really Bob Bethard of Anaheim, charges $74, although food, decorations and other birthday perquisites are not included. Both charge extra for additional travel.

As might be expected, most of the families who choose elaborate parties are financially comfortable, at the very least. But not exclusively. “I did a party for one family in San Juan Capistrano; they really had nothing,” Rosen said. “But they had saved for it. It was so important to them to have something special.”

“Birthdays are very significant to children,” said Barton J. Blinder, MD, president of the Southern California Society for Child Psychiatry, who practices in Newport Beach. “But as far as extravaganzas, they seem to be often more for the parents than for the child. It may be a way of expressing their love, and it also may be done to soften their own guilt at not spending enough time with the child.”

Parents who don’t go all out for their children’s birthdays needn’t worry, Blinder said, as long as they recognize the event itself. “Children really lean more on parental recognition, or recognition from their grandparents or siblings. That’s the recognition that really counts.

“Most kids really appreciate having their friends at a party. They’re really more interested in personal contact rather than a display. Kids are probably a little less sensitive to the size of the party and the amount of presents than are adults.”

But if parents want to offer their children something extra-special, “I don’t think any harm is done,” Blinder said.

Rosen said the important thing to remember is that the party is for the child, not the parent. She learned that lesson the hard way.

“I remember, when I was a child, a girlfriend of mine had a clown and a merry-go-round for her birthday. It was great! I had all these fond memories, and I wanted to do the same for my children.” So when her older son, now 8, celebrated his second birthday, she did her best to re-create that scene. “It was a disaster,” she said. “He was so frightened of the clown, he screamed and would not let go of my husband. And my 6-week-old was crying, too. I had forgotten that I had been a lot older than they were.”

Other mothers, Rosen said, have had other problems with trying to do too much for a child’s birthday. “I have a friend in Irvine, she sent her husband to L.A. to get a designer cake, and she also had a caterer. The kid cried most of the time, and her husband got stuck on the freeway and was late.

“A lot of first-time moms don’t know where to turn, or they get pressure from other moms who are already doing something elaborate. I had a mother who called the other day who asked, ‘What’s wrong with a morning party?’ She was really intimidated by what she thought was expected of her.”

Based on what she has learned, Rosen is writing a birthday party handbook. The book includes tips on everything from sending invitations to dishing out ice cream.

For Earl Thompson, it was fitting that not one but two video cameras were on hand to record his birthday adventures. If it weren’t for videotape, he would probably have no idea who the Lone Ranger was.

“I was at K mart one day when I happened to see a 30-minute video of an old Lone Ranger episode. For some reason, I bought it,” said Earl’s mother, Diane. “He just loved it. And then when the new Lone Ranger movie was on TV, we taped it. He watched it every day for three months.”

As Earl’s birthday approached, his parents called Ponies for Parties in El Monte and arranged to have two ponies--one white, one brown--delivered for the day. For $150 to $175, Ponies for Parties supplies ponies and also farm animals such as goats and sheep.

“We try to give the kids what they want,” said Ann Smith, owner of Ponies for Parties. Once, she even turned a white pony green for a day to surprise a boy who had an imaginary green pony for a friend.

“This was the first time we’ve ever had anybody from outside for a party,” said Diane, who also has three older children. “But the Lone Ranger meant so much to him.”

The only problem, she said, was that “we told him three weeks before that the ponies would be coming. He was so excited, he couldn’t sleep.”

About 10 young guests were invited to Jonathan’s party, and he chose each of them, his mother said. “We could have had more kids, but I wanted him to decide. The party is really for the kids, not the adults.”

But the mothers who accompanied their children to the party seemed nearly as delighted as their children by the proceedings, particularly the puppet show by Roger Mara of Jim Gamble Puppets.

Mara began with a stand-up routine featuring impressions not of John Wayne and Cary Grant, but Oscar the Grouch and and Sylvester the Cat. During the show, some of the younger guests seemed as fascinated by the portable footlights as by the performance. But the parents were spellbound. “This is so much fun--I haven’t been to a puppet show since I was 4 years old,” one wide-eyed mother said.

Barbara Pazornik found out about Tea & Cakes Parties by word of mouth, “through a friend whose son had been at one.”

“I wanted Melissa, at the end of the school year, to get all her friends together and have a tea party. It’s a little girl’s fantasy come to life.

“We’ve done the horses and the clowns, but this was a different idea.”

After making construction paper bonnets and bow ties under the careful eye of a “nanny” in starched linens, the children lined up to be presented in the proper manner, each with a temporary title.

“I give to you, Daniel Jacobs, Duke of Huntington Beach,” proclaimed Tea & Cakes employee Celeste Gallagher of Placentia, who doubles as Alice, as a taped fanfare played in the background. After the children had been introduced, they sat down on miniature garden furniture provided for the occasion.

“I’ve got the chills; this is so cute,” said Barbara as she hurried to turn on the video camera. As the children sipped tea from china cups, the mothers snapped photos and proclaimed them “ so grown up.”

A bit uncomfortable in his bow tie, Daniel talked sports as another boy munched on the dainty sugar cubes. “If we watch every single Lakers game, guess what? They’ll win,” he said.

The party was for the children, but Tea & Cakes owner Maria Dye had set up an identical spread in the kitchen for the mothers, with chocolate mousse, lemon tarts, petits fours, finger sandwiches and, of course, tea.

Debbie Deal, Amy’s mother, said that she and her husband, Bruce, don’t want their younger daughter to feel slighted. “She has an older sister, and it’s hard to be the second one,” she said. So in addition to the magic show, they gave Amy a puppy of her very own.

“Amy, it’s the happy birthday magic show for you and all your friends,” Whodini proclaimed. “Amy, don’t play with the balloon right now, OK?”

Whodini called upon Amy to be his assistant, and she cooperated with all the tricks except one. When it was time for the sword-in-the-neck routine, Amy deferred to her 7-year-old sister, Beth.

Nora Rassinoux said she hired Rosen because “I wanted to be able to enjoy the party myself, and actually see my son enjoy his party. I know a lot of others are doing it, but that’s not why we did it. I don’t think parents do it for competition.

“I think it’s true that a lot of parents are older and do have more money and are able to do this, but I don’t think it’s part of the whole yuppie thing. If it was available years ago, I think people would have done it then, too.”