‘Knee-Jerk Liberals’ vs. ‘Right Swingers’

“Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America,” wrote educator Jacques Barzun, “had better learn baseball.” But to know members of Congress, he might have added, try a simpler game: softball.

And never mind the rules, just look at what they call their teams.

Need a subtle hint on the political tilt, say, of Rep. James L. Oberstar (D-Minn.)? His softball squad is called the Minnesota Knee-Jerk Liberals.

Then there’s Strom’s Right Swingers, who play for conservative Sen. Strom Thurmond (R-S.C.). The trade views of Sen. John Heinz (R-Pa.) are reflected by his Buy Americans. Tax and budget-minded Sen. Bill Bradley (D-N.J.) has the Dollar Bills; Rep. Timothy J. Penny (D-Minn.) the Penny Pinchers, and the House Select Committee on Aging the Silver Streaks.

Roughly 320 teams belong to three congressional softball leagues, and picking a name can be the most competitive, if not silliest, moment of the season.

‘Boren to Run’

There is the Boren To Run team of Sen. David L. Boren (D-Okla.), the Hot D’Amatos of Sen. Alphonse M. D’Amato (R-N.Y.), the Bumpers Stickers of Sen. Dale Bumpers (D-Ark.), the Graham Crackers of Sen. Bob Graham (D-Fla.), the Gramm Slammers of Sen. Phil Gramm (R-Tex.) and Arlen’s Darlin’s of Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.).

On the House side, Rep. Philip M. Crane (R-Ill.) heads the Whooping Cranes, Rep. Alan Wheat (D-Mo.) captains the Wheat Germs, Rep. Claude Pepper (D-Fla.) is the inspiration for the Hot Peppers and Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) is the mentor for the Congressional Franks.

Rep. John D. Dingell (D-Mich.) has Dingell’s Dingbats.

The leagues are notoriously loose about their rules, including on who gets in. Lobbyists and trade associations are welcome, as are staffers from elsewhere in government.

Gary Caruso, commissioner of the 200-team Congressional B League, which neither uses umpires nor calls balls and strikes, says the B stands for “beer-drinking,” and “if you pay taxes, you’re in.”

A congressional A league has about 40 teams, while a third league fields about 80 more and comprises largely Senate staffers.

John Murphy, a former New York congressman from Staten Island, still has a team called the Staten Island Ferries, according to Caruso.

A team of former staff members of the presidential Administration of Gerald R. Ford is the Outhouse Gang.

‘The Right Stuff’

Sen. John Glenn (D-Ohio) fields a team called The Right Stuff, which was the title of a best-selling book and a movie about Glenn and other early astronauts.

The Greatest Hits of Rep. Chester G. (Chet) Atkins (D-Mass.) is derived from the congressman’s country guitarist namesake.

The team of Rep. Michael A. Andrews (D-Tex.), is the No Ways, No Means, but some members want to change the name to Ways, But No Means. Andrews is a member of the House Ways and Means Committee.

But some names are incomprehensible, at least to outsiders.

“There’s one team called Shoot The Wounded,” said Vince Morelli, a commissioner of the A league. “I have no reason to understand that one.”