Pressing the Media Into Service : Remake of ‘The War of the Worlds’ Becomes a Near-War of Words

Yelled one reporter, “Have they got Star Wars, doctor?”

Hollered another, “Is it a particle beam weapon?”

Screamed a third, “Can you describe the Martians?”

Howled yet another, “Do they use an electromagnetic field?”

From the porch of a decrepit old barn-red bungalow on the grounds of George Lucas’ Skywalker Ranch, a sour Jason “Dr. Pierson” Robards wearily met the press--or at least Hollywood’s vision of the press--in an audio scene from a remake of Orson Welles’ classic “The War of the Worlds,” marking its 50th anniversary.

This press conference business (the producers wanted to get a life-like press conference sound) is a centerpiece in the upcoming Oct. 30 public radio broadcast. It stars Robards, Steve Allen and honest-to-goodness newsies like retired CBS News anchor Douglas Edwards and National Public Radio’s Scott Simon.

The “real” press, covering this remaking, was invited to join the actors in peppering Robards and be as loud and rude and irrational as the “real” press.

The scene was short, loud and acrimonious.

Bawled the noisiest of the actor-media rabble, “Dr. Pierson, what was the weapon like?”

“A heat ray,” Robards said with a sigh. “It’s my guess that in some way, they’re able to generate an intense heat in a chamber of absolute non-conductivity. . . .”

He was interrupted mid-sentence by another loud actor-newsperson.

Or, more accurately, Robards was interrupted by an actor who depicted Hollywood’s notion of a reporter during a press conference that follows a disaster. The disaster in question was the “invasion” of Earth by a gang of murderous Martians and the crass “journalists” comported themselves like panic-stricken weenies.

“Is that a directed energy weapon?”

“Should we bomb ‘em back to the Stone Age?”

“Maybe they’re Reds!”

“That’s all I have to say,” shouted Robards. He stormed into the bungalow.

How show biz sees the world is often at variance with the way things really are. (Note Patrick Goldstein’s article on Page 3 on the movie image of the media.) In truth, reporters at media events usually are herded from one interview to the next. Cattle, of course, are used to this.

News folk are often cautioned against asking certain questions or taking pictures from the bad side of the star face.

Skywalker Ranch is rimmed with barbed wire and high-security gates. Lucas has issued a blanket decree that no one is ever supposed to take a picture of his house. (I don’t know--I swear--if any of us secreted a snapshot at the forbidden castle.)

News assignments can be tricky. The press conference scene, as it turned out, was further complicated by real reporters from several of the networks, magazines and newspapers, including your Calendar. We had been invited to witness--even participate in--the mock press conference.

“You will all be given a chance to be in the production!” effused Elaine Davies, chief publicist for the production.

As it turned out, the scene became a curious variation on the life-imitates-art cliche.

“I wouldn’t ask questions like that,” said a People magazine correspondent. “How about, ‘Any of these Martians dating Streisand?’ ”

The press quickly realized they were suckered. Promised “exclusive” interviews with Robards and a tour of Skywalker’s high-tech state-of-the-art sound reproduction facilities, reporters discovered that they were to be allowed “a quote or two” from Robards and no tour.

The real press covering the acting press outdoors was no accident, said “War of the Worlds” director David Ossman.

“What we wanted to do was capture real sound,” explained Ossman, one of the founding members of the now-defunct Firesign Theater. “That’s why we decided to do it here, outdoors, at Skywalker.”

The real press was remarkably silent during the mock press conference. There was more grumbling about the way they were being portrayed than there was raucous Sam Donaldsonian shouting.

“What we’re looking for is a White House press conference kind of thing, where everybody’s yelling at once,” Ossman said.

“We’re only inviting a few reporters. Yourself, The New York Times, the networks . . .” Davies told us. Only the creme de la creme .

As it turned out, nearly 30 reporters, photographers and TV crew people were invited and Davies had to devise a pecking order. Robards was hot and tired and none too keen about talking to the real press.

CBS News went first. They got 10 minutes with Robards.

“Entertainment Tonight” went second. They got 7 minutes. People Magazine got the third shot at Robards. 4 minutes.

We were fourth . . .

After a short time Robards asked one of the staff for something to eat. His stomach was growling, he said.

“I guess my turn is over,” we said.

“OK. Thanks,” said Robards, turning to the next reporter in line.

Our interview time: 4 minutes, 14 seconds.

“But, hey,” a nearby photographer noted wryly, “you did get to talk to Jason Robards. And you did get to be in ‘War of the Worlds.’ ”

There followed the Associated Press (3 minutes), the New York Times (2 minutes) and the Boston Globe (2 1/2 minutes). So we felt pretty good. We got a lot of time, relatively speaking.