COMEDY REVIEW : Greg Ray Tries to Be Funny as Boors Get Into the Act

In this age of traffic schools staffed by comedians, maybe we need comedy-audience schools taught by stern traffic cops.

These schools would teach new and previously rude audience members the basics of comedy-club etiquette, particularly emphasizing the rule against yelling out or talking to the comic on stage unless that comic directs a question to them.

Employees of comedy clubs should attend these classes, too, so they would understand how much rude behavior can damage a show and the attendant importance of controlling a room: asking loudmouth violators to stop talking--and, if necessary, to leave.

All this came to mind Wednesday at the Laff Stop in Newport Beach, where there were only a few dozen people in the audience. Yet there were enough chatterboxes--and the room was so poorly controlled--that headliner Greg Ray had a bad night that wasn’t his fault.

There were only a handful of vocal offenders. But because they were never approached by Laff Stop employees, they freely interrupted the show, often stepping on Ray’s set-ups and punch lines. That does wonders for a comic’s timing.

Under normal circumstances, Ray is a fine comedian, a low-key performer who strings together subtle observations that rope the attentive listener into delightfully absurd territory. When he could get a word in edgewise, he managed to do some of that Wednesday.

For example, he mentioned that driving down the highway recently, he saw a tanker-truck marked “Helium.” He wanted to follow the truck to the weigh station and watch the guys manning the scale: “Nine pounds, six ounces? I think you get some highway taxes back this year. . . .”

Ray also wondered whether the truck driver “is worried he might be hijacked by some balloon animals?” But mostly he speculated about where the truck was headed. “Who ordered a tank full of helium? The only thing I could figure is that maybe somewhere Alvin and the Chipmunks are standing around (in very deep voice) ‘Hey, where is that truck?’ ”

His keen absurdist eye also spotted the loophole in those commercials for Master locks, in which someone shoots a bullet into the lock to demonstrate just how invincible it is. So now, Ray pointed out, a gun-wielding burglar will approach a door secured by a Master lock, and say, “Wonder who made that hinge?” and blast right through it.

He later revealed that his grandfather was prone to delivering those life-was-much-tougher-when-I-was-young speeches: “I didn’t even eat till I was 6. . . . We didn’t have those fancy bowling shoes; we just had to paint little numbers on the back of our feet.”

Ray didn’t get very far into these proceedings before the vocal contingent made its presence known. A table of five young men and women started chatting right in the middle of a bit. Ray politely responded: “Pard me. I’m sorry. You guys are trying to have a conversation; I’m doing a show. I’m sorry.”

The subtlety was lost on this quintet. They continued the chatter throughout the show, occasionally shouting comments--once even engaging in a somewhat antagonistic exchange with Ray. And a woman close to the stage, who clearly had fulfilled the two-drink minimum, became bolder, louder--and more annoying--as the evening wore on. Ray asked her: “Did you not get enough attention as a child?”

After even more interruptions from these stageside commentators, a still easygoing Ray said, “I have a feeling my show was over about five minutes ago and I’m the last one to know it.”

He wasn’t even allowed to get through his closing joke; some guy yelled something between the set-up and the punch line. Ray forced a smile. “These little pauses in my act are not necessarily for you to fill in.”

So it went to the very end. Ray was too nice, and the audience was too rude. The difference was that Ray was in the right, while the vocal crowd--and the club--was in the wrong. Maybe the time for comedy-audience schools has come.

Ray--along with Leslie Norris and Butch Fisco--continues at the Laff Stop through Saturday. On Sunday, local comic Don Ware performs two shows, which will be recorded for his next comedy album.

The Laff Stop is at 2122 S.E. Bristol, Newport Beach. Show times: 8:30 and 10:30 p.m. Friday; 8, 10 and 11:45 Saturday; 8 and 10 p.m. Sunday. Tickets: $6-$8. Information: (714) 852-8762.