Rhino Party Leader Delivers Odd Pitch

Bill (Spaceman) Lee, presidential candidate of the Rhinoceros Party, is turning his attention to the environment. According to USA Today, he’s telling people to imagine the Earth as a single-cell organism on its way to decay.

“For every smokestack in Gary, Ind., we need a Tums factory next door putting out antacid to absorb the pollution,” said Lee, a former pitcher for the Montreal Expos.

If elected, Lee said he would name writer Hunter S. Thompson as his vice president.

“Nobody knows more about vice than he does,” Lee said.


Kinerism-of-Week: The latest from New York Mets announcer Ralph Kiner: “We’ll be right back after this word from Manufacturer Hangovers.”

Said Chicago quarterback Jim McMahon, when asked about the heroics of former teammate Doug Flutie in New England’s win last Sunday: “Who? Oh, Bambi. It was great, wasn’t it? He’s America’s midget again. You guys send that quote out to New England for me.”

The Bears visit New England Oct. 30.

Boston Red Sox pitcher Mike Boddicker, on Game 3 mound opponent Bob Welch of Oakland: “He is hyper out there. He digs a hole in front of the rubber that you could hide a tiger in.”


New York Mets pitcher Ron Darling claims ABC’s Jim Palmer went too far in criticizing David Cone for writing the column that stirred up the Dodgers.

“He isn’t Mother Teresa,” Darling said of the former Baltimore pitcher.

Trivia Time: Who is the only catcher to win the Gold Glove in both the American and National leagues? (Answer below.)

80 Years Ago Today: On Oct. 8, 1908, the Chicago Cubs won the National League pennant when Mordecai (Three Finger) Brown beat Christy Mathewson, 4-2, in the playoff of the disputed game in which Fred Merkle made his memorable boner.

In the Sept. 23 game, with the score 1-1 in the ninth inning, Merkle failed to touch second base when a teammate delivered an apparent game-winning hit for the Giants. The Cubs retrieved the ball and touched second base, forcing Merkle and negating the run.

New York fans, thinking their team had won, swarmed the field, which led to the halting of the tie game. It was made up after the other teams had completed their seasons, with the Giants and the Cubs tied for first with 98-55 records.

From Baltimore outfielder Jim Traber, whose soft single broke up the second-straight no-hit bid by Toronto’s Dave Stieb: “A month from now, I’ll remember hitting .216, not breaking up a no-hitter.”

Add Forgettable Quotes: Said Lou Piniella when he was named manager of the New York Yankees June 23: “I expect to be here a good while.”


Trivia Answer: Bob Boone. He’s won Gold Gloves twice with the Philadelphia Phillies and three times with the Angels.


“Late Night’s” David Letterman: “Baseball was an exhibition sport in the Olympics this year--sort of like it was in Baltimore.”