Those Once-Proud Horns Are Hooked but Good

The Colleges

The eyes of Texas were blinking with disbelief. The once-noble University of Texas at El Austin (UTEA) catapulted to No. 1 with its most lopsided defeat in 85 years. The Shorthorns, barbecued for four straight weeks for the first time since 1956, are really under the driver’s seat in the Bottom Ten race.

Meanwhile, Notre Dame staged one of the great upsets of all time, edging tough Rice, 54-11. What made the result so surprising was that Irish Coach Lou Holtz had said beforehand, “I’ve never had a game in my coaching career that concerns me as much as this one. . . . I’m scared to death.”

Elsewhere, South Carolina became what is believed to be the first No. 15-ranked team in the Top Twenty ratings to lose a game by 59 points.

And speaking of defeats, ABC-TV has reportedly suggested strongly that the loser of the USC-UCLA game be invited to the Sugar Bowl. Since the Sugar Bowl promises to be more interesting than the humdrum Rose Bowl matchup of the Big Ten and Pac-10, look for the Trojans and Bruins to try to out-fumble, out-bobble and out-muff each other when they play.

THE RANKINGS:

Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. UTEA (3-5) 15-66, Houston TCU 2. Miamis*(7-9-1) No Losses! Kent St 3. Florida (3-4)** 3-26, Georgia Kentucky 4. So. Carolina (7-2) 0-59, Fla. State Pentagon 5. Md. (1-31)*** 10-17, Penn St Clemson 6. Illinois (5-3-1) d. Indiana, 21-20 Michigan Indiana (6-2-1) 20-21, Illinois Mich St Iowa (5-3-2) d. N’wes, 35-10 Ohio St Michigan (6-2-1) d. Minneha, 22-7 Ill Mich. St. (4-4-1) d. Purdon’t, 48-3 Indy Minneha (2-5-2) 7-22, Michigan Wisconsin N’west (1-7-1) 10-35, Iowa Purdon’t Ohio St (4-5) d. Wisc, 34-12 Iowa Purdon’t (4-5) 3-48, Mich. St. N’west Wisconsin (0-9) 12-34, Ohio St Minneha

16. Cincinnati (one of few 2-7 teams ever to be penalized by the NCAA for recruiting violations); 17. Selected Carolinas (East, North, West) (5-23); 18. Pentagon (at sea) (3-6); 19. Your Ad Here; 20. BYU (winless in November).

*Combined records of Miami of Florida, Ohio and Pennsylvania.

** Record against Division I schools.

*** Lifetime record against Penn State.

ROUT OF THE WEEK: TCU (4-5) over University of Texas at El Austin (3-5).

QUOTEBOOK: Kansas Coach Glen Mason, before playing Kansas State in a Bottom Ten minor league matchup of 0-8 teams: “One of the great things about college football is the rivalries. It doesn’t matter who’s favored. You throw out the records.” (Kansas won, but you should still throw out its record.)

OFF-THE-BENCH AWARD: Clark College (Ga.) lineman Joe Borders jumped off the bench to tackle an Alabama A&M; ballcarrier in the fourth quarter. No one even noticed his little faux pas until a review of the game films the next day. Clark lost, 0-39.

The Pros

Ah, the NFL, with its computerized scouting reports, inch-thick playbooks, legions of specialized assistant coaches--and what do the teams do when it comes down to crunch time?

Well, Washington’s Dexter Manley spit on a New Orleans player, who then took a punch at Manley and drew a 15-yard penalty for the Saints Sunday. A New Orleans field goal opportunity was ruined and the team lost, 27-24.

The week before, Philadelphia Coach Buddy Ryan ordered a player to fake an injury to stop the clock. The Eagles’ approach is so sophisticated that when defensive end Jerome Brown intercepted a pass against the Rams Sunday, he ran 5 yards in the wrong direction before mercifully falling down.

And overlooked by all the experts was third-string Dallas quarterback Kevin Sweeney, who finally got a chance to play for a couple of quarters Sunday and threw three touchdown passes. The Cowboys still lost, 21-29, to the New Jersey Giants. But they hope that Sweeney may be able to help their numbers, especially with the rumors that the television networks may soon cancel Dallas (and Atlanta’s Falcon Crest).

THE RANKINGS: BAY CONFERENCE

Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Green Bay (2-8) 0-20, Atlanta Indy 2. Tampa Bay (2-8) 10-28, Chicago Detroit 3. Pitt Bay (2-8) 7-42, Cincinnati Philadelphia 4. Alamo Bay (2-8) 21-29, N.J. Giants Minnesota

AFC WEST CONFERENCE

Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Kansas City (1-8-1) 11-17, Denver Cincinnati 2. San Diego (2-8) 3-13, Irwindale Atlanta 3. Seattle (5-5) 3-13, Buffalo Houston 4. Denvelway (5-5) d. K.C., 17-11 Cleveland 5. Irwindale (5-5) d. San Diego, 13-3 S.F.

CRUMMY GAME OF THE WEEK: Tampa Bay (2-8) at Detroit (2-8).

WRONG-WAY AWARD: Tie between Philadelphia’s Jerome Brown and the San Francisco 49ers, who blew a 23-0 lead against Phoenix.