Playing Games of Politics in Bush Leagues

In exploring the generic meanings of the proper nouns Bush and Quayle, I observed that bush , while not as mean in its uses as the verb quail , “has an aura of good-natured humor in it; bush is small-town, unsophisticated, backwoods; when a major league shortstop makes an error, it’s bush.”

David L. Simmons of Ridgecrest quite correctly takes issue with the latter definition. “I will violate a long-standing rule of mine and pick a nit,” he says. “I don’t think that major leaguers consider errors bush. What would be bush would be for the shortstop to then berate the groundskeeper for leaving pebbles lying around on the infield. (See ‘Alibi Ike’ by Ring Lardner.)”

Alibi Ike was the great Lardner character who was a gifted ballplayer but had a ready-made alibi for any performance of his that was less than superb; even when he tripled he had an alibi for why it wasn’t a home run. Simmons implies that Alibi Ike was bush. Indeed, despite his talent, he was the very embodiment of the word.

Simmons adds: “I think it is also considered bush to try to show up your opponent such as by standing and gazing admiringly at the home run you have just hit or by making an exaggeratedly slow trot around the bases afterwards.”

He is absolutely right in arguing that a big league error is not necessarily bush. Even Ozzie Smith, one of the best of shortstops, probably makes a few errors every season. The miracle is not that they occasionally boot a ball like Little Leaguers but that they turn so many almost impossible plays into routine outs, with the grace and coordination of Olympic gymnasts.

The Dictionary of American Slang (Wentworth and Flexner) equates bush with bush league , which it defines as, in baseball, a minor league of professional or semiprofessional teams; the adjective meaning small-time, second-rate, amateurish, nonprofessional, unsophisticated.

Certainly many major league ballplayers behave in bush ways, but I do not agree with Simmons that it is bush for a batter to dramatize a home run by watching the ball’s flight momentarily, waving his cap as he rounds the bases or taking his time if he likes.

In the third game of the 1932 World Series, New York Yankee outfielder Babe Ruth appeared to point to a section in the Chicago bleachers, then hit a home run exactly where he apparently had pointed. Was that bush?

There have always been grandstanders, but the cult of the self-congratulatory athlete came full bloom with the reign of Muhammad Ali, who promised before one fight, “I’ll be floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee.”

I can’t miss the chance for another Ali quote that is not relevant here but is worth repeating on any excuse. Told by a flight attendant to fasten his seat belt, Ali said, “Superman don’t need no seat belt.” To which the attendant replied: “Superman don’t need no airplane, either.”

Simmons complains that “it is also bush for National Football League players to make a festival out of scoring a touchdown. I really can’t see why someone who is earning a great living to catch passes for scores should be so wildly elated when, now and then, it actually happens.”

I can’t agree with him there. I am delighted when some wide receiver who has just caught a touchdown pass deposits the ball delicately in the end zone and then does a wild impromptu dance. Referees have become less tolerant of end zone theatrics in recent years, but I don’t think they hurt the game. Why shouldn’t the guy be jubilant? And sometimes his jubilance is transferred to the crowd.

I am less enchanted by 265-pound tackles who sack the quarterback and hop about pounding their chests like gorillas while the quarterback lies on the ground, testing his limbs to see if he can get up.

Now that a Bush has been elected to lead our nation, I suppose the name will engender a number of new metaphorical uses.

Certainly the funniest baseball reference I heard during the campaign was spoken by a southern Democrat at the Democratic convention who called George Bush “a man who was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple.”

He’s at bat now, and no alibis.