How to Break Clean : DIVORCING <i> by Melvin Belli and Mel Krantzler Ph.D (St. Martin’s Press: $22.95; 528 pp.; 0-312-01760-X) </i>

“Divorcing,” in the words of Melvin Belli and Mel Krantzler, “aspires to be the bible of divorce.” It is a how-to manual, encompassing both the legal and emotional terrains of one of life’s most wrenching traumas. Guidelines and rules are presented which, if followed scrupulously, promise the reader greater personal fulfillment and self-renewal.

The book begins with brief biographical histories of the authors. Melvin Belli, of course, is a well-known and flamboyant attorney. He charts his own marital ups and downs, providing the reader with glimpses of his five marriages: “. . . a good marriage is a wonderful thing, one of life’s greatest joys, and I’ve pursued that quest again and again.” And about his divorces he notes: “. . . it’s all right if you’re a four-time repeater like me, because eventually you’ll get the right message about how to improve your life if you are motivated to do so.” He confesses his remorse at not handling his own marital dissolutions as constructively as he advises others to. At 81, Belli is making headlines again with his pending fifth divorce, once more fulfilling the old adage of “do as I say, not as I do.”

Mel Krantzler, a psychological counselor and director of the Creative Divorce, Love and Marriage Counseling Center in San Rafael, in 1974 pioneered in writing “Creative Divorce,” one of the earliest popular books on the subject. Much as he did in that earlier work, he tells his story here again. “Certainly I felt ashamed and guilty when I was divorced in 1970, almost as if I had a scarlet D branded onto my forehead. The unspeakable had happened to me after a 24-year marriage . . .” He takes us through his tumultuous road to recovery, the “psychological process of self-renewal” that eventually led to his remarriage.

The closing lines of the first chapter set the tone for the rest of the book: “We invite you to experience the realities of divorce as an adventure in learning, so that you can experience each new day in your single life as a time for positive achievement rather than an exercise in regret.”

In spite of these rather lofty platitudes the book contains some sound advice. Belli and Krantzler alternate chapters, taking the reader through both the legal and emotional complexities of the divorce process.

Belli uses a question-and-answer format--blessedly free of legal jargon--that addresses such questions as how to select a lawyer, how much will it cost, how to protect your economic resources, what is child support. It is a sort of primer on the legal aspects of divorce, advising the reader to seek legal counsel when more specific answers are needed.

Krantzler specializes in turning painful emotional losses into productive life-enhancing gains. Rather than following the same format as Belli’s Q & A chapters, Krantzler gives pointed advice and provides declarative guidelines for constructively working through the divorce process. His advice is good, albeit difficult to enact sometimes. “When you feel you are a victim, you will act like one . . . . Let those feelings go and begin with a clear slate, with nothingness.” He begins with the earliest stages of the divorce process, identifying 17 illusions about divorce such as: “All my problems will end once I divorce this turkey I’m chained to,” and “I’ll never get married.” He ends with four chapters each of which presents a stage of “The Process of Finding a New Lasting Love Relationship.”

Krantzler’s writing is full of poignant and colorful examples, with one whole chapter devoted to “Breaking Up in the Lives of the Rich and Famous.” Phyllis Diller, Lynn Landon, Marty Ingels, Jackie Joseph, Gary Crosby and Patti MacLeod provide brief glimpses of how they survived their own divorce crises and eventually emerged as better, happier people. Krantzler summarizes the experiences of these six celebrities: “Just like the average person, these celebrities had to take personal responsibility for their self-renewal.” And this is the theme that prevails throughout the book.

As how-to books go, this one is as good as most. It is an up book, long on optimism and hope and short on knowledge and depth. Belli and Krantzler try to span too much territory and thus fail to address adequately some of the important issues that the divorcing face. The numerous complexities of joint-custody arrangements, the confusing ambiguities inherent in the ex-spouse relationship, the harsh economic realities following divorce are given only brief attention. Simple answers to complex problems. But it is an easy book to read and is filled with engaging personal examples. It is not the bible of divorce Belli and Krantzler hoped it would be, but it may help some of the recently separated see that there is light at the end of the long, dark tunnel.