BY THE NUMBERS
David Letterman’s 10 Duties for Japan’s New Emperor 10. Validate parking for world leaders who stayed more than two hours at funeral. 9. Impress U.N. General Assembly by slicing tin can with ginsu knife. 8. Call Dan Quayle at 3 in the morning and scream “banzai” into phone. 7. Record “your lights are on” for use in all talking Toyotas. 6. Befriend Pat Morita. 5. Organize title fight between Mike Tyson and Mothra. 4. Find “friends” for John Tower when he’s in town. 3. See that Yoko Ono’s U.S. citizenship is kept up to date. 2. Defend crown every six months as required by World Wrestling Federation bylaws. 1. Make sure America isn’t late with the rent check. SOURCE: NBC’s “Late Night With David Letterman.”
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