Movie Reviews : Laughs Don’t Get on Track in ‘Speed Zone’

Outside of these United States, “Speed Zone” (citywide) is being marketed under the name “Cannonball Fever,” and the executive producers are filmic race veterans Albert S. Ruddy and Andre Morgan--so, yes, try as they might to disguise it: This is indeed, unofficially, the breathlessly awaited “Cannonball Run III.” Start your engines, high-octane comedy fans!

Just kidding. Whatever your gullibility-per-gallon level, don’t this installment’s talented cast fool you. Come back, Burt, all is forgiven.

The only survivor of the Burt Pack on hand is Jamie Farr, as a sheik who pulls out of the race when he can’t stop leering at a squeaky-voiced bimbo’s enormous breasts. (Let the convulsions begin!) The pack taking over the proceedings this time includes about half the old “SCTV” crew--cast members John Candy, Eugene Levy and Joe Flaherty, along with writer Michael Short and director Jim Drake--all of whom worked on some of TV comedy’s finest half-hours before this blotch on their driving records.

There’s something frighteningly wrong when Brooke Shields shows up for a two-minute cameo (as herself) and racks up more giggles than Candy, Levy and Flaherty combined. The only other performer to redeem herself is Donna Dixon who does a dead-on impression of Marilyn Monroe. Otherwise, there’s even more wreckage among the cast of “Speed Zone” (rated PG) than among the transport.