Stow the Kids, Spoil ‘em, Show ‘em Off: It’s the Era of Children as Pets

If I read one more article on the need for more child-care centers, Head Start programs or after-school latch-key arrangements I’m going to scream! What do people think child-bearing and child-rearing are all about? Do they really think it’s a part-time effort?

With mothers entering the work force in unprecedented numbers, the relationship of time needed to raise children versus time needed for work must be recast. And yet, this reinvention of the corporation need not be accomplished at the expense of expropriating parental responsibility.

After all, children do not deserve to be treated like pets that one puts into a kennel whenever they become inconvenient.

It seems clear that children are no longer a needed economic asset to help ensure family security. In fact, their costs surely outweigh their financial contributions to modern family structures.

Children are beginning to appear on the streets in increasing numbers as the divorce rates skyrocket. Children often fall through the cracks of broken relationships, left to wander the streets like stray cats and dogs.

Children also are increasingly seen as getting in the way as economic pressures, role redefinitions and gender breakthroughs create dislocations in the traditional family, home and community.

As I survey these realities, I am increasingly persuaded that children are treated more like pets than like young human beings in this decade of the underclass, the yuppies and the workaholic generation.

The “children-as-pets syndrome” seems to be an outgrowth of the following 1980s phenomena:

--The kennel mentality. To “stow the kids” seems to be a sociological tenet of modern times. All economic classes want the government, the schools . . . anyone to take care of their “pets,” so that they can pursue their freedoms to work, play, or accumulate.

--Kiddie credentialism. I read a resume in which an applicant mentioned that her two children went to prestigious private schools. It appears that the accumulation of “papers” for one’s children has come to resemble the pedigreed pomposity of show-dog owners.

--Teen-age mothers. The tragedy of teen-age pregnancy is obvious, its reasons complex and its effects catastrophic. But we also can’t deny that one of the factors in teen pregnancies, according to studies, is that many naive girls have babies because they want something to play with. But just as cuddly puppies and kittens grow into dogs and cats, babies grow into self-assertive and demanding little individuals. No wonder the kids get thrown onto the streets when they’re no longer fun to play with! The tragedy of poverty forces an abandonment mentality to increase when the fun diminishes.

--The spoiled generation. Often parents who ignore their children because of “work demands” tend to give them things to make up for the lack of psychological bonding and parental attention. Rather than disciplining the child, they spoil the child by giving things instead of time.

It is amazing how often this reminds me of the pet owners who let their animals run loose in houses and neighborhoods because “he’s been pent up all day” or “she really just wants attention.” Spoiled pets are like spoiled children--they develop into monsters that abuse environments, relationships and common grounds.

I’m saddened by the growth of “children as pets,” and I’m not certain I have the answers as to how to short-circuit this horrendous process. But there are a few possible solutions.

First, the role of children in the new family structure has to be redefined. And values that focus on the sanctity of human life need to be reemphasized. I believe that freedom of choice is more important than life itself.

And yet, I believe even more fundamentally that love and dignity must be at the foundation of choice. Children should not be treated as pets at any step in the process of their development.

Finally, children’s rights should be articulated in government laws, religious proclamations and humanistic pronouncements. And one of their rights must center on the responsibilities of parents. Responsibility must be the foundation for a new parent-child contract, beginning with the axiom that states unequivocally that children are people.