Swapping Cheap Shots --but Not Too Cheap
There was nothing wooden about the reaction at the Tarzana Lumber Co. when a new sign went up across the street Tuesday morning at the Terry Lumber Co.
“Welcome Back Sherm,” read the marquee at Terry Lumber, where manager Sherm Olmstead was returning after a two-week vacation.
Over at Tarzana Lumber, manager Hank Ceci quickly spelled out his own marquee message: “Welcome Back Sherm! We Enjoyed Your Vacation.”
The latest volleys in an unusual billboard war were being fired across the intersection of Reseda Boulevard and Oxnard Street, where the two lumber companies have traded daily insults for months.
When it rained last winter, Ceci’s marquee boasted: “Holy Flash Flood! Noah Received His Lumber from Us.”
Olmstead’s marquee quickly shot back: “The Truth Is Noah Returned His Lumber and Bought Ours.”
Replied Ceci: “Noah Didn’t Have Time to Wait in Their Line.”
On some days, the pair change the movable theater-like letters on their signboards two or three times in hopes of getting in the last word.
The gibes have amused some passers-by and confused others. Mostly, though, it has fanned gossip in Tarzana about how two rival lumber companies are out to nail one another.
“We’re always wondering what they’ll come up with next,” said Ilene Levy, co-owner of the Party King shop down the street from the lumberyards. “People think there’s a feud going on. Everybody takes a look to see what they’re saying about each other.”
Fun, not a feud, underlies the sign assaults, however.
Shared Owner
Although the two companies are separately operated, they share the same owner. Competitive employees of the two lumber outlets think up insults to keep from becoming bored among the boards.
Tarzana Lumber, which caters to remodelers and do-it-yourselfers, has snickered at Terry Lumber for its weekend hours: “Only Wimps Close at Noon on Saturdays.” Terry Lumber, which primarily serves larger contractors, unleashed a series of messages that poked fun at Ceci by referring to him as “Spanky.”
“It’s very surprising to people that we get so personal,” laughed Paul Hawkins, assistant manager at Terry Lumber. Grinned Pat Plunkett, a salesman at Tarzana Lumber, “Some people think we really hate each other.”
Looks for Signs
Chuck Hart, a Burbank vendor who sells paint to Tarzana Lumber, said he looks for the signs when he makes deliveries three days a week. “It’s almost like reading the paper. You never know what you’re gonna see next,” Hart said.
Tom Mullin, president of the Terry Companies, said acquaintances who do not realize that his firm owns both lumberyards sometimes remark to him that “the Tarzana Lumber Co. is really giving you guys a hard time.” Mullin said he replies that “Tarzana Lumber is tough.”
The personalized billboard broadsides are fine with him, Mullin said.
“We just don’t like them to get into price wars. Sometimes one will advertise something at $5.99 and the other will advertise it at $5.95 and then the other will advertise it at $5.89.”
That can splinter lumber profits.
