Donning His Flak Jacket for Mail Call
I expected some flak when I wrote about our busy weekends at home, but I did not expect the avalanche of abuse that has fallen on me.
I was merely trying to show that in these stressful times the old-fashioned weekend, when one went to the beach, or the mountains, or the park, is no more. My wife and I spend our weekends catching up on chores that both of us are too busy to do during the week.
As I pointed out, my wife not only works outside the home, but washes and irons her own intimate clothing (and some of my shirts), does all the yard work, microwaves our dinners and keeps our accounts. Meanwhile, I fix my own breakfast and lunch, spend most of my time reading and writing, keep my bathroom tidy, and operate the television set. I also open the wine and change light bulbs.
How that balance of effort could seem unfair to anyone I can’t see. I myself work up to the limits of my energy, and I don’t see how my wife could do any more.
In a typical diatribe, Otella Waller writes: “I can hardly contain myself. Do you love this woman? If so, you must be a sadist. Does she really need a job outside the home? Does she ever have time to read a book? . . . Oh, brother! And why all this ironing? Does she iron your shirts? If so, I’ve really had it with you. And yard work too? Say it isn’t so.”
My wife holds an outside job because it fulfills her. She brings her work home nights and weekends. She irons some of my shirts because she is dissatisfied with the results of drip dry. I urge her to leave them alone. Popping dinners into the microwave is not that hard. She does the yard work because she loves it and because the exercise is good for her.
Ron Suppa of Sherman Oaks wonders how “intelligent people” can allow TV to be their only source of relaxation. “What are the things that you’ve purchased on credit . . . that they were worth mortgaging your life for? People with higher rents and mortgages than you and probably fancier cars go off to Europe for months, take ski trips, golf, frequent expensive restaurants and dress in trendy clothes. How? It’s not all the quantity of dollars. Sometimes it’s priorities. Slaving to pay bills is counter to logic. . . .”
We have no mortgages or rent. Our car is paid for. Our credit accounts are paid every 30 days. We have taken several European vacations. But Suppa is right. It’s a matter of priorities.
Dawn Sandor questions one of my sentences: “While we eat we watch a movie on TV while she irons.” That I could have written such a sentence shows how much stress I am under.
Linda Hall of Santa Monica writes: “I can understand that you really are not very good at ironing--so why can’t you afford to get a maid to come in once a week like many working husband-and-wife teams do?” (Then what would my wife do while she’s eating and watching TV?)
Marjorie Groesbeck of San Ysidro writes: “Your description of your wife’s activities makes her sound either like ‘Superwoman’ or the biggest, most witless drudge I have ever read about.” (She’s Superwoman.)
Jo Ann Rogers writes: “Let’s clone your wife and market her as ‘Wonder Woman’! Better yet, let’s start a fax campaign to the Pope to have her declared a saint!” (She’s certainly better qualified than Junipero Serra.)
John Paul Pack of Laguna Hills observes that my failure to mention church or religious worship on Sunday reminds him of a New Yorker cartoon in which a group of people are pictured lolling at the beach on a beautiful Sunday morning: “The caption reads: ‘Let’s go to church just for the hell of it.’
“Does man no longer need a Holy Day in his calendar?” he asks. “In my view, modern man’s indifference to a religious outlook on life is an unmitigated travesty.”
I am also reminded of a New Yorker cartoon. It shows a clergyman looking down with concern at a young woman who lies wantonly on her back, a bouquet of posies in one hand. She is saying: “There’s no use you trying to save me , my good man.”
