PGA CHAMPIONSHIP : Round Becomes Ol’ Boys’ Network : Watson One Back After 67; Palmer, Nicklaus Shoot 68s

Tom Watson pulled the verbal trigger on the wildly improbable first round of the 71st PGA Thursday at steamy Kemper Lakes Golf Club when he shot a five-under-par 67 and described it as his “second coming.”

It turned out to be a blast from the past.

Watson, who has won every major championship except the PGA, played perfectly princely golf in a round that included six birdies, numerous wizardly par saves and only one bogey.

But the second coming belonged to the man the other players simply call “the King.”

Arnold Palmer shot a 68 that would have been a 66 if he had not bogeyed the last two holes.

“ This ,” howled one member of his legendary army near the 13th green, “is a happening.”

Palmer was actually tied for first briefly at six under par with early leader Mike Reid after draining an eight-foot birdie putt on the par-five 15th. It marked the first time since 1981 in the British Open that he had led at any point in any major tournament in the ‘80s. And it set off a roar that could be heard all the way back to the ‘60s.

The last time Palmer won a regular PGA Tour event was 16 years ago in the Bob Hope Desert Classic. Two weeks ago in the British Open, he shot 82-82 and missed the cut.

There was no way to predict any of this. And there is no way of knowing what will follow.

“I’m really looking forward to tomorrow,” Palmer said afterward. “I’m as curious as you are.”

Palmer will be 60 in a month. After he birdied the fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth holes with putts of 20, four, eight, 15 and 25 feet, respectively, he said he felt 29, two less than the number of strokes he needed on the front side.

Like Watson, Palmer has never won a PGA. He finished second in 1964, ’68 and ’70. Watson’s best PGA was at Oakmont in 1978, when he led after three rounds before losing to John Mahaffey in a playoff that included Jerry Pate.

Like Watson, Palmer believes he can still win this one and join Gene Sarazen, Gary Player, Ben Hogan and Jack Nicklaus as the only players to win the four so-called major championships.

“If I play and feel like I did today?” Palmer said. “Yes, I can.”

By the way, Reid shares the lead in this thing with Leonard Thompson, a North Carolinian who eagled the seventh hole but went home wondering why nobody wanted to hear about it.

Reid, nicknamed “Radar,” is a frighteningly straight driver who missed one green and one fairway, made no bogeys and never even took his lavender knit sweater off.

Nicklaus, who is 10 years younger than Palmer and 10 years older than Watson, shot a 68 because, in his words, “I made almost every putt I looked at, which was kind of fun. How many? I can’t count that low.”

Texans Tom Kite and Ben Crenshaw shot a 67 and a 68, respectively.

Joining Watson and Kite at 67 was Chris Perry, who is more famous for being the nephew of a guy named Gaylord who used to apply foreign substances to major league baseballs.

Joining Palmer, Nicklaus and Crenshaw were Phil Blackmar, who is 6-feet-7; Ian Woosnam, who is 5-4; Mark O’Meara, who made a hole-in-one with a 7-iron on the 173-yard third hole, and Dave Rummells.

David Edwards made eight birdies and five bogeys to head a group at 69 that included five other players. Pre-tournament favorites Greg Norman and Paul Azinger each shot a 74 and are probably wondering what foreign substance they forgot to apply to their golf balls. U.S. Open champion Curtis Strange was two under par. Sevie Ballesteros was even par. Former PGA champion Lee Trevino was two over par.

The reasons for all the low scores were a lack of wind, and fairways still softened from the nine inches of rain that has fallen here since July 18. Seventeen players shot 70s. Twelve finished with 71s.

“The course is playing about as easy as it’s going to play,” Watson said.

“I’m absolutely flabbergasted at the scores,” Nicklaus added.

And as surprised as everybody else at Palmer. Playing the 12th hole together, Kite and Nicklaus glanced toward Palmer and his huge gallery several fairways ahead of them.

“He’s leading this golf tournament,” Kite said to Nicklaus.

“He sure is,” Nicklaus replied, “That’s something else, isn’t it.”

It’s more than that. As late as last week Palmer was talking about cutting back his schedule on the Seniors tour because of the precipitous dropoff in the quality of his play.

He even considered withdrawing here to give a younger player his place in the field. But three days ago the cold that had settled in his back at the British Open began to feel better. And his practice sessions started getting better. So he put those thoughts aside.

“I prepare,” he said, “with the idea that a day like this will come along.”

But the wait was sooooooooo long. The last time he shot this low in the first round of the PGA was 24 years ago. The last time he shot a 68 in the U.S. Open was 1973. The last time he shot a 68 at the Masters was 1983.

“It’d be something,” Palmer said, “if Nicklaus, Watson and myself were all on the leader board together Sunday.”

All three will have to drive better. And we’re not talking courtesy cars here. Palmer found three bunkers off the tee in the last five holes and almost drove in the water on 18. Nicklaus began hooking his driver early on and switched to a three-wood in mid-round. Watson hit only seven of 14 fairways.

Even though Kemper Lakes is relatively long at 7,197 yards, “this golf course favors anybody who hits the ball straight,” Watson said. “So how do you explain my score?”

You don’t. Not any more than you explain Palmer’s revival or the sudden magic in Nicklaus’ putter.

Or Reid, who ranks second-to-last in tour driving distance.

“Jack climbed up the beanstalk and knocked the giant down in the nursery rhyme,” he said.

PGA Notes

Co-leader Mike Reid refuses to use a metal wood because he doesn’t like the way they sound. “In my mind’s eye I can see dogs hearing that noise and taking off in the other direction.” . . . First prize in this tournament is $200,000 which means if Tom Kite wins, he could pass Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus and move into first place on the PGA career money list. Watson currently leads that category with $5,112,182. Nicklaus is second at $5,065,884. Kite has $4,926,277. . . . Talk about a one tournament year: San Diego’s Greg Twiggs, who earned $126,000 for winning the Shearson Lehman Hutton Open in February, has won less than $16,000 in 16 events since then. Worse, he has missed the cut in seven of the last eight tournaments he has entered. During that span his best finish was 81st at the Western Open. Twiggs shot one under par 71 Thursday. . . . Writer’s block? David Ogrin, a native of nearby Waukegan, is writing a daily column for the Chicago Sun-Times during the tournament. Will words be able to describe the quadruple bogey he made on the 11th when he pumped two balls in the water? “I didn’t want to talk to nobody or no thing,” Ogrin said. “It ruined my day and maybe my tournament.” Ogrin’s score: 77.