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The Machine of the Moment has transmitted...

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<i> From staff and wire reports</i>

The Machine of the Moment has transmitted everything from press releases to take-out restaurant orders. And now, a new use. . . .

West Hollywood business executive Anita Gittelson showed up for work and found that an assistant had tendered her resignation via a fax machine.

“It was a bit strange,” Gittelson said. “She was in Syracuse, N.Y., when she sent it. In fact, it’s strange that she was even in Syracuse.”

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Sure, Los Angeles City Council positions aren’t the most high profile jobs, but you’d think that voters would be able to remember which members are alive.

Six constituents of Councilman Joel Wachs phoned his office in a panic Thursday after an item about a Chatsworth newsletter was reported here. The newsletter, for some reason, said that a building’s plaque “was to be personally presented by an old friend, Mr. Joel Wachs, Councilman, (but) Mr. Wachs passed away just prior to its unveiling.”

Wachs spokesman Greg Nelson said of the mourners: “At least someone could have sent flowers.”

Or faxed a card.

Now Money magazine says that Los Angeles is the 13th most liveable area in the nation, ranking ahead of Orange County (No. 23), by the way.

This follows assorted studies concluding that, compared to other regions in the United States, the Freeway City is:

--The 9th most stressful.

--The 2nd most romantic.

--The 10th most stressful.

--The 2nd most health-conscious.

--The 11th dirtiest and least safe in which to raise a family.

Sounds like the typical Angeleno is a hard-driving businessman who flirts on the jogging track and doesn’t shower afterward.

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Why are the 600 people pictured in the shape of a No. 10 smiling? Simple. They don’t battle the freeways alone each day. These Transamerica Life Co. employees were marking the 10th anniversary of their van-pooling program.

As they tell drivers in Pasadena: Smile, you’re on photo radar.

At 4 p.m. Thursday, the Jet Propulsion Laboratory clocked Voyager 2 at 40,098 m.p.h.

This Week’s Sushi Attack:

When last we heard from Bonese Collins Turner, she had a painting showing an order of sushi pelting the HOLLYWOOD sign, one of a series on display at the Angel’s Gate Gallery in San Pedro. Now comes a similar onslaught on the Theme Building at Los Angeles International Airport. Weren’t the sushi controllers awake?

Vic (the Brick) Jacobs, the Channel 13 sportscaster with a werewolf’s voice, throws a chunk of foam at the screen when he wants to signify a miserable performance. Jacobs admits that his next honoree should be . . . himself.

He was playing in a charity softball game in Long Beach the other day when “I made a sudden move and froze with a pain in my leg,” said Jacobs, 36. “I figured a golf ball had hit me because there’s a course nearby.”

Jacobs had to sit out the rest of the game. Later, in the locker room, he was informed that he’d pulled a muscle.

An enterprising worker at a refreshment stand in the Hollywood Bowl set out a box with a sign that said: “Ten Reasons Why You Should Tip.”

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Sample reasons:

No. 10: “Elvis did last week.”

No. 8: “Minimum wage.”

No. 7: “Guilt.”

No. 4: “We want to rent a Rob Lowe video.”

Guilt was in short supply. When last seen, he had a total of one quarter in his box.

Give him the brick, Vic.

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