They’re All Gunning for These Cowboys

How are the Dallas media reacting to the 0-3 Bar 4J (Jerry Jones-Jimmy Johnson) Cowboys? Jack Mann of the Baltimore Evening Sun provides a glimpse:

“Part of the film at 11 in Dallas on Sunday night was Sunday Silence airing by six lengths in the Super Derby. ‘Sunday Silence is the horse named after the Cowboys’ offense,’ the anchorman said.

” ’ . . . Who’s gonna make the play?’ Johnson had shouted at his troops daily during preseason training. Columnists in both Dallas newspapers Monday asked the question and answered it: ‘Nobody.’

“One of the columnists was a shade caddish in likening owner Jerry Jones’ having Elizabeth Taylor flip the coin to ‘turning the Dallas Cowboys into the Arkansas State Fair.’ ”

Add Cowboys: Johnson, reminded that Tom Landry went 0-11-1 in his first season as coach in Dallas: “That’s not much solace.”

Nothing playful about it: David Aldridge of the Washington Post quotes former Ram Eric Dickerson on being the target of Anaheim Stadium fans throwing play money after his Indianapolis Colts had lost Sept. 17: “That’s really a joke. This is a game and you get paid for it. You can take all those fans in the stands and you can line them up. If they think it’s fun, let them come out and try and play the game of football. If they don’t want to get paid . . . This is not a game where you’re just thankful to be there.”

Trivia time: On Sept. 28, 1938, who hit the “homer in the gloamin” in the ninth inning to give the Chicago Cubs their ninth straight victory, 6-5, at Wrigley Field en route to the National League pennant?

Score one for Kiner: New York Mets broadcaster Ralph Kiner usually receives attention only for his malapropisms. But Jayson Stark of the Philadelphia Inquirer gave Kiner his due after this exchange with Tim McCarver, prompted by a TV shot of Met Barry Lyons sitting with a towel wrapped around his head:

McCarver: “There’s Barry Lyons, sporting sort of a Pharaoh look--and the Mets are trying to pyramid their runs, leading, 4-1.”

Pause; shot of Lyons remains on screen.

Kiner: “It sphinx for itself.”

Add broadcasters: He might not commit as many malapropisms as Kiner, but Chicago Cubs announcer Harry Caray has become the leader in misidentifications. Marty Noble of Newsday reports that earlier this month Caray identified St. Louis Cardinals third baseman Terry Pendleton as Teddy Pendergrass.

The sour science?From Bob Smizik of the Pittsburgh Press: “Any newspaper that sends a reporter to cover a boxing match between George Foreman and Gerry Cooney should be charged with aiding and abetting a fraud. And has there been a greater con man in the 20th Century than Cooney? The Great White Hype, who is 33, has fought four times in seven years. Boxing stinks.”

A mere punk: Hall of Famer Bob Feller, quoted by the Cleveland Plain Dealer on all-time strikeout king Nolan Ryan of the Texas Rangers: “There was only one pitcher faster than I was. That was Walter Johnson. My curve was much better than Ryan’s. His is only average.”

Trivia answer: Gabby Hartnett.

Quotebook: Steffi Graf, top-ranked West German tennis star, on being labeled a machine: “I am a machine.”