This Commercial Message Should Be Loud and Clear

If not near, the end at least is inevitable for the National Football League’s new crowd-control rule, according to Phil Jackman of the Baltimore Evening Sun.

Writes Jackman: “Tell you what’s going to kill that nonsensical anti-noise rule in the NFL. When the networks notice that the home team has lost all its timeouts and they can’t slip in commercial after commercial during the usually protracted last two minutes of a half and at the end of a game, wham, it’s gone.”

Add Jackman: “A good matchup on Battle of the Network Stars might be pitting the egos of Brent Musburger (CBS) and Bill Walsh (NBC). The ex-49er coach very humbly pointed out the offense he developed in San Francisco ‘may even become an art form someday,’ while during a pregame show, Musburger said to a guest, ‘Are you available if I can get you elected (NFL) commissioner?’

As common as Dirk: Elvis Grbac, University of Michigan quarterback, quoted by Sandra McKee of the Baltimore Evening Sun on his given name: “My parents immigrated from Yugoslavia about 20 years ago, about the time Elvis was really popular here. But I don’t think my mom or dad had any idea who he was. They were poor and very hard-working . . . I don’t think they got caught up in rock ‘n’ roll. I’ve been to Yugoslavia twice and I’ve met a couple other guys named Elvis over there. I think it just might be a popular Yugoslavian name.”

Add Wolverines: Tom Friend of the Washington Post quotes Redskin running back Jamie Morris on his days playing for Michigan Coach Bo Schembechler: “If you fumble, you get the best seat in the house--right next to Bo. Bo doesn’t play fumblers. I fumbled my sophomore year against Ohio State, and I didn’t see the field the rest of the game.”

Wisdom you can count on: Referee Randy Neumann, explaining in the New York Times why he stopped the Carl Williams-Mike Tyson fight July 21: “A fighter who wants to continue should be looking to convince or at least acknowledge the referee. A good example is the response given by Jose Torres who, after being beaten up and dropped by Eddie Cotton, said, ‘I’m Jose Torres. I’m in Madison Square Garden and this guy is beating the hell out of me.’ I asked (Williams how he was) twice, between what would have been counts nine and 10, and when he could not, or would not, respond, he gave me a very clear sign of concussion. I stopped the fight because, at the count of 10, the juice was still off.”

Trivia time: Wayne Gretzky of the Kings claims to be the second-most-famous person from Brantford, Canada. To whom does he defer?

Whither Wilander?From Pat Calabria of Newsday: “In 1988, after three Grand Slam victories, Mats Wilander earned his first No. 1 ranking. This year, he has not won a tournament--big or small--and has slipped to No. 13 on the Assn. of Tennis Professionals computer. If Wilander does not improve his standing by the end of the year, he will have suffered the sharpest one-year drop by a top-ranked player since the ATP began its rankings in 1973.”

Trivia answer: Alexander Graham Bell, whose family moved there when he was in his 20s.

Quotebook: St. Louis Cardinals Manager Whitey Herzog, on whether he would play in the seniors’ league this winter: “Why? I was no good in my prime.”