Spare the Rod and Self-Esteem, Study Says : Discipline: If you are trying to instill confidence in your children, put the hair brush away. Physical punishment is not the way to go, according to a San Diego State University study.

Children who are disciplined with a slap or a spanking are generally less competent--and less confident--than children who don’t receive physical punishment in the home, according to a San Diego State University study released Monday.

The study, conducted this spring and summer in several San Diego County elementary schools, examined the effect of physical punishment on a child’s self-esteem. According to Dr. Anthony J. Urquiza, the study’s author, the research focused on families that regularly use physical discipline as a parenting technique, but it intentionally excluded abusive families.

After testing third-, fourth- and fifth-graders, ages 8 to 11 years old, for scholastic abilities, social acceptance, athletic skills, physical appearance, behavioral conduct and perceptions of self-worth, Urquiza concluded that the harsher and more frequent a parent’s punishment, the lower their child’s overall competence.

‘Violence Begets Violence’

“How much should you hit your child? You shouldn’t, ever. When is it OK? It’s not,” Urquiza, an assistant professor in SDSU’s Family Studies Department, said Monday after he presented his findings to the Eighth National Conference on Child Abuse and Neglect in Salt Lake City. “It is damaging to children to hurt them. Violence begets violence.”

According to Urquiza, recent studies show that 80% to 97% of all children are physically punished at some time in their childhood. He said most parents who raise a hand to their kids believe they are helping their children learn the difference between right and wrong. According to his research, however, they are mistaken.

“They slap or hit with a paddle or belt while thinking, ‘I’m teaching you something for your own good.’ They think it is an effective means of dealing with a child,” he said. “But it only provides a short-term solution. It doesn’t help children in the long run learn what to do.”

He offered an example. A parent sees her child in a fight with another youngster. She intervenes, and slaps her child in order to let him know that fighting is not acceptable. But Urquiza maintains that, instead of learning not to fight, the child may interpret the slap this way: “If I am going to hit somebody, I have to be the most powerful person around.”

Expression of Anger

According to Urquiza’s results, families that use physical punishment are generally less organized, more chaotic and more likely to have strict, inflexible rules. Members of such families are more openly willing to express anger and hostility, Urquiza said.

Parents in such families reported many more behavioral problems among their youngsters, like fighting with siblings or an angry attitude, than parents who did not hit their children. Children who are physically punished, meanwhile, often have a distorted view of their own bodies and their physical abilities, Urquiza found. “The kids may think of themselves as weaker or not as able to play on sports teams,” he said.

Urquiza said he believes the news of his research will not change most parents’ disciplinary methods. “This is not something that the public at large appears to want to hear,” he said. “A lot of parents will disbelieve it. They want to continue to have the right to discipline their children as they see fit. But many will be meeting only their needs, and not the needs of their children.”