COMMENTARY : NBA Feeds This Team to ‘Wolves

Whoever set up the exhibition slate for the expansion Minnesota Timberwolves certainly knew how to get the lads ready for a typical week in the National Basketball Association: five games in a half-dozen nights with stops in Fargo, N.D., Sioux City, Iowa, New Haven, Conn., Lexington, Ky., and Green Bay, Wis. Plus there was one missing bus, two canceled flights and a middle-of-the-night retrograde movement from a fleabag hotel. The gang was headed for practice in a high school gym one day when it was determined everyone was too beat up and tired to work.

True story: Guy thought he had a big scoop one day while rummaging around Shea Stadium and seeing a workman take Dave Johnson’s nameplate off the manager’s door in the clubhouse. “Mets Can Davey,” the headline would scream. It turns out the Rolling Stones were about to invade for a concert and Mick Jagger commandeered the room to serve as his headquarters, complete with Oriental rugs, a bed, lamps, mirrors, a keyboard and so on.

Shades of the Soap Box Derby shenanigans of a few years back. The baseball-card-collecting crowd is being warned to beware of counterfeits. Specifically, the 1984 Fleer Update set has been copied and, recently, a couple of dudes from Ohio were arrested for passing the boguses.

George Hendrick wants it known that, similar to his days as an American League outfielder, he’s still not granting interviews to the press now that he’s playing with Earl Weaver’s Gold Coast Suns of the senior league. The writer doesn’t exist who wanted to talk to ol’ George in the last 15 years.

Sadly, it has come down to this: As much of an attraction as the excellent fights being put on at the Forum near Los Angeles are, it is the accompanying Miss Ringsider contests that are packing them in. Whatever happened to sitting in Schwabs’ Drugstore?

For all his 205 hits and .330 batting average, Wade Boggs hit just .267 in the clutch (lead or tying run in scoring position, etc.), second-lowest among Red Sox regulars ... and the Beaners gladly gave him $7 million for the next three seasons.

Was it before or after losing to Texas A&M;, 17-13, Houston coach Jack Pardee said, “Our system is almost uncontrollable” as a way of explaining away the Cougars’ scoring 95 points against SMU?

Better sit down. You might not be able to handle this next one. The Seattle Mariners have lowered the price on 60 percent of the seats in the Kingdome by at least a buck. General admission is $4.50.

With about 30,000 people failing to show up at Cardinals games in Phoenix, Ariz., stoic owner Bill Bidwill holds firm with his “I thought it was a good crowd” statement. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, fate didn’t land this monument to ineptitude in Baltimore.

I must have been off visiting another planet for an eon or two. What’s all this about Rick Mahorn shuffling between NBA franchises and Italy as though he’s a full-fledged star? Something’s amiss when a 31-year-old guy with a 62-year-old back with modest skills is commanding a No. 1 and two No. 2 draft picks.

If the Evander Holyfield-Alex Stewart fights ends too quickly in Atlantic City, N.J., Saturday night, perhaps Billy Martin could be talked into a couple of rounds. The combative ex-manager will be in town doing a baseball card show.

Villanova and Rhode Island rush over to Milan, Italy, to play a football game before 3,000 people. Staggering.

Note in a Seattle paper: “Have you seen Washington’s basketball schedule? Good. Don’t look. Tired of getting beaten by Duke and DePaul, Hawaii-Pacific, Towson State and Miami of Ohio have been scheduled.”