POP MUSIC : This Star Will Not Shine on Holiday Charity Album

Thanks, but no thanks. That’s what producer Steve Vaus told Was (Not Was) last week after he received the group’s contribution to “The Stars Come Out for Christmas.”

Back in September, Was (Not Was) was one of nearly 20 major-league pop, rock and country stars who agreed to contribute a song to the locally produced compilation album of Christmas tunes to benefit the Children’s Hospital and Health Center in San Diego.

The plan was for Was (Not Was) to send in a new original. But, after completing the tune in a Detroit recording studio, said Jack Leitenberg, the band’s manager, the group “didn’t like the way it sounded.”

“They were going to do something else,” Leitenberg said, “but it was a time thing--they needed to get started on their next album.”

So instead, he said, Was (Not Was) opted to send in a previously recorded song, “Christmas Time in the Motor City,” that had appeared a few years back on the B-side of one of the group’s first singles.

As soon as the master tape arrived in the mail, Vaus said, he rushed to his Kearny Mesa production studio for a quick screening.

“I just about fell out of my chair,” he said. “The production value is great, and musically, it’s wonderful, but unfortunately, the lyrical content is just not appropriate for our audience.”

A sample verse:

Christmas time in the Motor City

But things aren’t really pretty

Yeah, the streets are paved with rusty pennies

The smell of money in the air

But you can’t earn a dollar anywhere

I ain’t seen Santa Claus this year

I heard he got a job

Changed his name to Bob

Took a shave in the lobby of the Cadillac Hotel

They gave him unemployment but no food stamps

They said, “We’ll give you drugs but there’s no free soup for tramps.”

Was (Not Was) manager Leitenberg isn’t surprised that Vaus rejected the song.

“I agree. It’s just not appropriate for this type of project,” he said. “The song was recorded before my time and I wasn’t familiar with it. Had I listened to it beforehand, I wouldn’t have sent it.”

Vaus said he had no trouble coming up with a replacement: An a cappella version of the traditional Christmas carol “Away in a Manger,” by Finnish rock band the Beat Boys.

“Their manager happened to be in San Diego a couple of weeks ago and read a newspaper article about the project,” Vaus said. “He immediately called me up and asked whether his band could submit something, and I told him I thought we were full but I would be happy to listen to it.”

As fate would have it, Vaus added, no sooner had he rejected Was (Not Was)’s “Christmas Time in the Motor City” than the Beat Boys’ submission arrived in the mail.

“The timing was perfect, and so is the song,” he said. “I was knocked out--it’s going to be one of the most beautiful things on the album.”

Last February, Mr. and Mrs. Mojo Nixon became the first couple to be united in holy matrimony by the Beat Farmers’ Country Dick Montana, who also happens to be a mail-order minister from the Universal Life Church.

Ever since, the “Rev.” Montana said, “the offers have been pouring in, but I’ve turned them all down because I refuse to marry people who are obviously inebriated.”

A week ago last Sunday, the irreverent reverend finally made an exception: He presided over the nuptials of two longtime Beat Farmers fans, John and Kate Herman.

“For $80 and all I could drink, it was a good deal,” Montana said with a laugh. “I may have to seriously look into this as a career.”

Not just yet, however. Last Thursday, Montana and his fellow Beat Farmers left town for a two-month, 40-date tour of the South, Midwest and East Coast.

LINER NOTES: Alligator Records has set a January release for the third album by San Diego roots-rock trio the Paladins. Tentatively titled “Follow Your Heart,” the album will feature guest performances by veteran soul singer-organist Leon Haywood (who scored a big solo hit in 1975 with “I Want’a Do Something Freaky to You”) and saxophonists Lee Allen of the Blasters and Steve Berlin of Los Lobos. Three months later, the Paladins will head down under for their first-ever tour of Australia. The two-week trip, scheduled to start April 7, includes dates in Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane. . . .

Local funk-rockers Secret Service will celebrate the release of the group’s new four-song cassette with a Saturday night performance at Rio’s in Loma Portal. Mention the band’s name at the door and you’ll get a free advance copy of the debut recording. . . . Tickets go on sale Friday at 3 p.m. for Squeeze’s Dec. 12 concert at Symphony Hall downtown. . . .

Best concert bets for the coming week: Public Image Limited and Flesh for Lulu, tonight at Golden Hall downtown; the Romantics, also tonight, at the Bacchanal in Kearny Mesa; Jerry Jeff Walker, Thursday, at the Belly Up Tavern in Solana Beach; the Waterboys, also Thursday, at the University of California at San Diego’s Price Center Ballroom; Spirit, Friday, at Winston’s Beach Club in Ocean Beach; the Del Fuegos, also Friday, at the Bacchanal; George Clinton, Nov. 13, at the Belly Up Tavern.