The 1990 Tournament of Roses Parade : TV REVIEW : View From the Couch: Channel-by-Channel Rating of Parade Coverage

The Tournament of Roses didn’t go unnoticed Monday--by Channel 2 or 4 or 5 or 7 or 11. It was a giant talk-off.

If you were flipping to one of these stations and you stumbled across Channel 13, you saw people scurrying through city streets. They weren’t running to watch the parade; they were panicked, fleeing Godzilla.

KCOP, declaring itself neutral in the war of the words, counterprogrammed with a likeness of a Teen-Age Mutant Ninja Turtle hosting a Godzilla marathon of English-dubbed Japanese movies.

Zillions watched the parade from curbside in Pasadena--which is what parade watching is about. You can’t get the crack and thunder of a marching band or the majesty of a giant float through a living-room TV screen.

But the home coverage still reflects, year after year, the marvel of it all. Just beware of the banter.

Coverage began with pre-parade trivia and preparatory superlatives at 7 a.m. with the most aggressive of the hostiles, KTLA (5) and KTTV (11). In their ads, both promised the best camera locations, the best commentators, the best stereo sound. And both would keep their cameras on the parade without departing for commercials. (Plugs for the sponsors were laid over the parade images.)

It’s hard to assess bests. The commentators all work from the basic facts and factoids assembled by the parade producers.

But certain truths emerge from watching the swirl of coverage. One is that for such occasions, you need professionals. Professionals in the art of banter.

NBC (KNBC, Channel 4) assigned commentating duty to actors Blair Underwood and Barbara Eden, who were about as compatible as oil and water. He was mostly uncomfortable; her contribution was mostly “oh wow,” “oooh,” “wooo” and “oh my heavens!”

She also did her Zsa Zsa Gabor impression as the real Zsa Zsa bounced by on a Tennessee Walker.

On CBS (KCBS, Channel 2), actor-hosts Kevin Dobson and Mary Frann were out of sync. She particularly seemed out of character waxing philosophical about the state of the world and invoking Albert Schweitzer quotations about how people can only be truly happy helping others. On ABC (KABC, Channel 7), Joan Lunden and Jim McKay, who have careers in banter, were generally the least silly and had the best sense for reporting the parade. Their program included some snappy interviews with just-folks along the parade route and a few features like one from inside the Baskin-Robbins float--mother cow and wobbly calf--that said more about the magnificence of these floats than anything else presented the whole day.

ABC also seemed to be the only station to report that police carted some protesters away from the parade. Others instead flipped to footage of smiling Grand Marshal John Glenn, the former-astronaut-turned-senator who probably was happy that the protest had nothing to do with the Lincoln Savings & Loan scandal.

On KTLA, Stephanie Edwards and Bob Eubanks are vets of such events, and their asides were sensibly chosen. Eubanks did soften his usual raucousness. He, of course, is snared in a controversy about a tasteless AIDS-Jewish women joke that he cracked for the cameras and that now is being shown in the current docucomedy film “Roger and Me.”

Rival KTTV employed a panel of three for its color--actress Deidre Hall, “Jeopardy” host Alex Trebek and veteran reporter Bill Welsh, who figures this was his 43rd straight Rose Parade.

KTLA and KTTV distinctly had the best camera spots, as both had promised, and some of their close-ups brought nice dimension to the parade. But it was a tossup, although KTTV’s coverage ran one minute longer than KTLA’s.

And in a coverage overwrought with platitudes and superlatives, Trebek spoke the final cliche of the day: “A good time was had by all.”

A good time also was had by all on Channel 13. Earth was saved once more, just at the last moment, and that always makes for a good day.

Now, on with the football. . . .