Knowing a Screen Play on Field Won’t Guarantee Success Off It

The San Francisco advertising agency of Foote, Cone & Belding has issued its annual Super Bowl scouting report. Some of the highlights:

Joe Montana, San Francisco 49er quarterback: “Proven on-screen ability, though somewhat goofy in speaking roles.”

Ronnie Lott, 49er defensive back: “Has Hollywood potential. He did a great job in the Coke ads. He’s a motivational, inspirational player, and that can rub off on screen.”

Karl Mecklenberg, Denver Bronco linebacker: “Like most Bronco stars, lost in the Rockies. . . . Great name for a German beer.”

John Elway, Bronco quarterback: “Only Bronco with true star quality. . . . Toothy grin perfect for Crest or Water Pik.”

The report is on the money in at least one regard. On 6-foot-6, 340-pound 49er lineman Bubba Paris: “Could be the biggest thing since Refrigerator Perry.”

Add Paris: When Bill Walsh was coach of the 49ers last season, he imposed a 300-pound weight limit on Paris and benched him when he failed to meet it. Said Paris: “I didn’t get a chance to perform. I was a 20-20-20 man--I played if we were 20 points up or 20 points down and there was 20 seconds to go.”

Trivia time: In the 1979 NFL draft, which three quarterbacks were selected in the first round ahead of Montana?

Calm but effective: Former Raider linebacker Matt Millen, now with the 49ers, said: “You can’t believe the difference between (the 49ers) and the Raiders. Howie Long would be running around the locker room; Lyle Alzado would try to bite guys, then John Matuszak would come over and yell, ‘I’m sane! I’m sane!’ But these guys know how to win the same way the Raiders did.”

Showing how it’s done: Bronco wide receiver Vance Johnson on the 49ers’ Jerry Rice: “He goes against the same defensive backs I do, and he’s always open. I’m always covered. He must be doing something right.”

Digital analysis: Former Raider quarterback Ken Stabler, on Montana: “When he’s got four rings for his fingers, that’ll be time enough to talk about him being the best. Maybe.”

Trivia answer: Jack Thompson (No. 3, Cincinnati Bengals), Phil Simms (No. 7, New York Giants) and Steve Fuller (No. 23, Chiefs).

Quotebook: CBS analyst John Madden, on why he has trouble warming to the 49ers: “Their locker room in Santa Clara is too clean. I’m saying this out of respect, but I’ve been in a lot of locker rooms and their locker room doesn’t even stink.”