Ex-Policeman Helps Officers Stay on Right Side of the Grammar Law

Consider the demands of police work.

Not only must the modern officer master the Smith & Wesson and the nunchuka, he or she must also cope with Funk & Wagnalls and “The Elements of Style.” Proper police procedure requires reports and more reports.

San Diego recruits receive 34 hours of academy training in report writing. Once they’re on the beat, though, they’re on their linguistic own.

The Police Department maintains a tip-top pistol range for marksmanship. But there is no similar facility where officers can fire off a fully loaded English sentence or two to stay sharp.

Enter the self-styled Grammar Policeman: Charles Guthrie, 46, a former San Diego cop turned criminal defense attorney. He’s selling spelling and word-usage workbooks ($55 total) to help officers pass the sergeant’s exam.

A grammatical cop is more promotable and more likely to be a good witness in court when crime reports become evidence, Guthrie says. He tailored his workbooks to several hundred words and sentences that an officer might need.

Some of the words: abnormally, amphetamine, argument, apprehended, bellicose, dosage, erratic, paraphernalia, psychopathic, stupor and screams.

Some sentences include errors; others don’t; the answers are hidden on a folding page. A sample:

* The body was covered with dry leafs . ( leaves )

* A fly was crawling across the drunk’s nose.

* The officer lay down chalk marks around the murder victim. ( laid )

* The gangster wanted a peace of the action. ( piece )

* The suspect was formerly known as Snake.

* The policeman went in the bar and arrested a drunk. (into)

Beyond the sergeant’s exam, Guthrie thinks the workbooks can arm officers for the hurry-up environment in which they write.

“They do a lot of report writing in the car, with a cup of coffee on the dash, as their partner rushes to the next call at 40 m.p.h.,” he said. “They can use some help.”

Extraterrestrial Update

Here’s more, free of cost.

* Scott D. Wolfe, director of the Laguna Beach-based Citizens for Scientific Reality, came to Mission Valley on Monday and Tuesday to lecture on the federal government’s refusal to tell the truth about flying saucers and extraterrestrials.

“The coverup is worse than Watergate,” Wolfe said.

He wants to start a Museum for Inter-Galactic Understanding. He says San Diego would be a fine spot, preferably near the water.

* Reporters stationed at San Diego City Hall have been getting uppity again.

Seems somebody leaked out the access code to the security door guarding the 10th-floor City Council offices. Reporters were freely roaming the hallway, poking their heads in offices to ask questions.

“We began to feel like prisoners in our own offices,” complained a council aide. No more.

The code was changed this week. Reporters now have to wait in the lobby until a receptionist sees if anybody wants to talk to them.

* Joan Kroc decided not to attend today’s opening of the first McDonald’s in the Soviet Union. Still, she sent her Faberge egg for a Kremlin exhibit.

* San Diego Councilwoman Judy McCarty wants the public to know that she’s not remodeling her office, just replacing 10-year-old wallpaper. Cost: $5,000, already covered in the budget.

Almanac With Political Bite

Reporters at the Capitol bureau of the Sacramento Bee have just published a California Political Almanac (Pacific Data Resources, 490 pages), a compendium of facts, figures and gossip.

The almanac has the sassy tone of real conversation. Several of its sharpest barbs are aimed at the legislative delegation from San Diego County.

Wadie Deddeh: “Has never been much of a force in either San Diego or state Capitol politics, although he has been working at it for three decades.”

Peter Chacon: “Inside the Capitol, Chacon is chiefly noted for keeping his family on the payroll.”

Steve Peace: “Makes loud, ranting speeches on the floor on virtually any issue that strikes his fancy.”