The naked truth:Frederick’s of Hollywood was fined...

The naked truth:

Frederick’s of Hollywood was fined $5,500 the other day for failing to submit a ride-sharing incentive plan to the South Coast Air Quality Management District.

By the way, mannequins cannot be counted as passengers.

Dan Shapiro of North Hollywood wonders whether mothers will start saying to their kids:

“Don’t eat your broccoli, and maybe someday you will grow up to be President.”

Bowser, a 15-foot python, went on a hunger strike for three months at the San Gabriel Humane Society. Usually the lanky serpent could be counted on to demand dinner once a month, just like clockwork.

“He’d always been finicky but this time he just quit,” said John Coleman, the shelter’s assistant director. “We’re not really sure why.”

Dr. Richard Pyne, a volunteer vet, decided it was time to force-feed Bowser, who’s been a resident of the shelter since he was found lounging on a front lawn in South El Monte eight years ago.

A mixture of beef liver and calcium was injected into a rubber tube in Bowser’s mouth. The operation was a success--the snake even voluntarily snatched a mouse for dessert later.

But it wasn’t easy getting Bowser to the dinner table.

“It took five people to hold him,” said Coleman.

And what section of Bowser did Coleman grasp?

“I didn’t touch him,” he confessed. “Snakes give me the willies.”

We gave L.A. School Board member Mark Slavkin a less-than-perfect spelling score Tuesday after he turned in a press release containing the word enrolment . But one of his aides came up to us after class and pointed out that dictionaries declare that enrolment is acceptable. Still looks funny to us.

Doug McKenzie is the winner of this week’s Malathion Poetry Contest with “Ode to the Medfly”:

There once was a fly from Peru,

That made Angelenos feel blue .

We sprayed ‘em and spayed ‘em ,

Almost waylaid ‘em,

But our cars got all covered with goo!

(McKenzie took some poetic license since he lives in Santa Barbara.)

MiscelLAny:

KNX’s Bill Keene says it’s the question he’s asked most: What is a SigAlert? It’s a bulletin indicating an unexpected blockage of lanes that’s expected to last at least half an hour. “Sig” doesn’t stand for “signal” or “stop-instead-of-go.” It was derived from a KMPC pioneer who set up the first radio hookup with police dispatchers. His name: Loyd Sigmon. All clear now?