Cordial, Genial Spirit Permeates Talks : South Africa: Longtime foes chatted and bantered good-naturedly. ‘This should have taken place years ago,’ said one ANC official.

Only a few minutes after they sat eye-to-eye over a long, rectangular conference table here this week, South Africa’s mortal enemies realized something important about each other.

“Everybody in the room understood that there was nobody here who had horns--that we had people in the room who are perfectly reasonable,” said Thabo Mbeki, the African National Congress’ foreign affairs chief. “And everybody realized then that this should have taken place years ago.”

Those opening minutes set the tone for three days of talks that concluded Friday with an agreement, which carried historic importance not so much for what it said but for the fact that it said anything at all.

The ANC and the government have been at odds for all of the ANC’s 78 years, and at war for the past 30. Successive South African governments have painted the ANC as a Communist-led band of terrorists bent on destroying all that is good and decent. And they have jailed ANC leaders, forced them into exile and driven them underground.

That ended three months ago when President Frederik W. de Klerk lifted the ban on the ANC. And Friday, in a building named for the architect of apartheid, Hendrik Verwoerd, the past seemed a distant memory.

Nelson Mandela, only 11 weeks out of prison, was smiling and sharing his first news conference with De Klerk as the most notorious ANC leaders mingled amiably with their government foes.

“The striking feature of the discussions has been their cordiality,” said Mandela, the 71-year-old deputy president of the ANC who went to prison 27 years ago for launching the “armed struggle” against Pretoria. “We have had discussions on serious matters in a spirit of conciliation and understanding.”

De Klerk returned the compliment.

“I appreciate the good spirit and the earnestness and the honesty which was a hallmark of these discussions,” De Klerk said.

The talks also included good-natured bantering as the two delegations shared cocktails and several meals during the three days of talks on the grounds of Groote Schuur, a mansion once occupied by prime ministers.

At one point, ANC foreign affairs head Mbeki, in exile for nearly three decades, referred to Roelof F. (Pik) Botha, the government’s long-serving foreign minister, as “my deputy.”

“I’m not sure that Pik was very pleased with that,” Mbeki said later, laughing.

When Botha and Joe Slovo, the head of the South African Communist Party, engaged in a loud, friendly conversation after another session, ANC executive committee member Ruth Mompati jokingly suggested to Law and Order Minister Adriaan Vlok that he have Botha arrested.

De Klerk welcomed the interaction, saying it allowed the two sides “to get to know each other and learn what makes them tick. It built better understanding.”

Mandela said his delegation decided early on “to let bygones be bygones . . . and conduct discussions without bitterness.”

De Klerk was asked if the genial spirit of the talks didn’t make him regret having waited so long to legalize the ANC and free Mandela.

Looking slightly uncomfortable, De Klerk said: “I’m just glad we’re able to look forward rather than back.”