Mariner Fans Believe Moose Deserves Noose

How bad is Mariner Moose, the mascot of the Seattle Mariners? “He’s the worst, the worst I’ve ever seen,” said Minnesota Twin pitcher Roy Smith.

At the Kingdome opener, the fans chanted, “Kill the Moose, kill the Moose.”

Said Jim Caple of the St. Paul Pioneer Press: “The team is so concerned about the Moose’s performance, they’re planning to send him to Philadelphia to take lessons from the Phillie Phanatic.

“Incredible.”

Add forgettable quotes: Philadelphia’s Charles Barkley was overheard talking to his 76er teammates before Game 3 of their NBA playoff series against Cleveland.

“Put the saddle on right there,” Barkley said, pointing to his back. “Cinch her on, and the rest of you guys climb aboard.”

The Cavaliers won, 122-95; Barkley scored 17 points. Cleveland also won Game 4 to even the series, 2-2.

Add Barkley: Claiming that New York Knick guard Mark Jackson has his priorities out of order, he said: “Mark Jackson says he loves his fiancee so much he would give up basketball for her. Not me. I love my wife (Maureen), but she doesn’t pay the bills like NBA money can. I’d have to pick John Nash over Maureen.”

Nash is the 76er general manager.

Trivia time: What active player has been in the most NBA playoff games?

Overdrafted: Calling them draft day facts, Peter Leo listed the following in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette:

--”The amount of brainpower spent on draft day by emotionally arrested sports fans would be enough to power a dim bulb for an entire day.”

--”Just eliminating one discussion of the NFL draft on one sports talk show would keep 500,000 pounds of hot air from being released into the atmosphere and contributing to global warming.”

--”If the newspapers had cut back to only two draft day stories a day, 500 trees could have been saved.”

Add football: From George Will, political columnist, author and baseball lover: “Football combines the two worst things about American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.”

Lighten up: From Ray Frager of the Baltimore Sun: “Wouldn’t Rick Barry’s commentary on TNT during the NBA playoffs be more enjoyable if he wasn’t whining all the time?”

Call of the wild: Pittsburgh Pirate outfielder Andy Van Slyke, on third baseman Jeff King, an avid outdoorsman: “Jeff King is the only baseball player I know who would rather have his picture on the cover of Field & Stream than Sports Illustrated.”

Dim view: General Manager Jack McCloskey of the Detroit Pistons, on 7-foot-2 Dwayne Schintzius from the University of Florida: “People say he has a lot of potential. I don’t see it. Yes, he can pass the ball, but I don’t see anything else. I don’t see him run the floor, I don’t see him rebound, I don’t see him block shots, I don’t see him shoot the ball, I don’t see the competitiveness, I don’t see the desire to win. I guess that about covers it.”

Trivia answer: Dennis Johnson, 179 games.

Quotebook: Sacramento King guard Danny Ainge, on his reputation as a complainer: “Actually, I’m not a complainer. I’m a whiner.”