Laff Off Winner Is More Than a Miner Talent

Jerry Miner, a Santa Monica comic with a cockeyed view of pizza, paranoia, suicidal bees and shopping, won the “Captain Morgan Laff Off” at the Improv on Monday night, besting a field that originally included 48 stand-ups.

He beat five other finalists, all with several professional credits, who had also survived the contest, which has been played out at the club every Monday since May 7. Miner’s prize was $4,000 and four weeks of Improv bookings.

Second-place finisher Johnny Steele of San Francisco received $1,000; for third place, Don McMillan, also from San Francisco, won $500. Each is guaranteed three weeks of Improv bookings. The other finalists were Dave Maxey of Long Beach, Gerry Swallow of Hermosa Beach and Lry Sknr from Gardena.

Miner, 28, is apparently on a roll: He won a similar contest at the San Diego Improv earlier this year. After his Irvine victory, he attributed his success to a delivery that he said has improved in the last two years (he has been performing for more than six), to writing jokes every day and to changing the side of his face that he begins shaving each morning.

“I used to start on my right, now I start on my left,” he said. “I don’t know, something out of the routine gets rid of the (mental) block.”

Miner didn’t mention shaving during his 12-minute performance. But he did bring up the predatory instincts we all have when, while eating with friends, we are confronted by that last piece of pizza. With a salivating-dog look on his mobile face, Miner thought out loud: “Joe’s already fat, why’s he looking at it? You know, you start making superficial talk . . . your hand in that trigger-finger position” ready to pounce.

Later, he confessed to a special fear of bees. Combine that with his paranoia about someone or something lurking in the back seat of his car, and you’ve got one worried comic. Miner knows that bees die after they sting you, but he’s sure that he’ll die too. The cops will show up, check out the two bodies and then sigh: “Well, must’ve been a double suicide.”

Although shopping is a well-worked subject on comedy stages, Miner scored points with his routine that focused on the aggression that can well up in people once they start pushing that cart around the market. The rush to the checkout line usually begins with “making eye contact with someone, and then the race is on.”

Miner said afterward that he felt fortunate to beat out the other comics--especially Steele, a Pittsburgh native with an edgy style. Prowling across the stage, Steele offered observations on Irvine, food, flying and speeding in Montana, where the $5 ticket is paid on the spot.

“What a bargain that is. I told the cop ‘Look pal, here’s a twenty. I’m going to speed through your whole . . . state!”

Steele also revealed that he recently figured out what all that goop is in a can of ham. “I scooped out a handful. You know what it is? Dippity-Doo. Some unfortunate pigs were having their hair done when they were slaughtered.”