You say that even Johnny Carson doesn’t...

You say that even Johnny Carson doesn’t put you to sleep anymore?

Perhaps you should consider Marlene Gordon’s Insomniacs’ Tour.

You and the other unsleepy heads gather at 3 a.m. in a hotel lobby, and then it’s off to see downtown L.A. in a chartered bus.

“You can relate to the city’s history better at that hour because of the quiet,” said Gordon, owner of Next Stage tours. “And it looks romantic under the lights.”

The five-hour, $40 expedition typically includes visits to such sights as the Brooklyn Bagel Factory, Union Station and the produce, flower and fish markets.

One stop that has been eliminated is a tai-chi exercise session with a group of elderly Chinese who gather in Chinatown. “We tried it once but I guess they (tour members) felt kind of silly,” Gordon said.

Often, there’s an eye-opener or two.

“Once we were going up to the Transamerica Tower (restaurant) to view the sunrise and we passed the (building’s) penthouse, where there were people sleeping with their drapes open,” said Gordon. “They seemed surprised to see us.”

Mike Glickman, the bankrupt former Valley real-estate mogul, is finding he’s still in demand, after all.

Not only has he been hired to peddle property for the Jon Douglas Co., he’s been invited to speak at the graduation ceremonies of Portola Junior High in Tarzana. Glickman, a participant in the city’s “Adopt-a-School” program, sponsored Portola’s valedictorian program as well as other school functions for the last three years.

What L.A. high school’s grads have grabbed the most space in local newspaper financial sections of late? Could be Birmingham High in Van Nuys. Just to emphasize the point, the school’s 1990 yearbook displays separate, full-page ads purchased by alumni Mike Glickman and confessed junk-bonds criminal Michael Milken.

Sight of the Day: A young businessman chatting on a portable phone as he sped down Ventura Boulevard--on his bicycle.

The Capitalist Conspiracy (cont.):

Gosteleradio , the Soviet radio network, will air a series of 48 one-hour radio broadcasts about the entertainment industry called “Hollywood Nights.”

The shows, produced by L.A.-based Franck Entertainment, will be broadcast in Russian and will feature interviews with music and film celebrities as well as contests and promotions.

“It is our belief that this joint venture will open a new era for global radio,” said Justin Mowbray, the program’s creator.

In other words, it’s time for the East Europeans to find out about Zsa Zsa.

While negotiations to have our “Malathion Songbook” published remain stalled--we’ve fired our lazy agent, by the way--singer Fred Starner writes to say that he’s looking for Medfly-inspired songs and crooners for a “Folk Night” at the Espresso Bar in Pasadena.

In the meantime, one anti-malathion group offers a bit of poetry for the back window of your automobile (see photo).

In response to our Only in L.A. Menu Item of the Week contest--inspired by the introduction of tofu enchiladas in the Times cafeteria--Phyllis Kalionzes of West L.A. recommends:

Avocado cha-shu tacos.

They’re a concoction of corn tortillas, melted American cheese, lettuce, tomato, avocado and “a wonderful, sticky, sweet cha-shu (barbecued pork).”

They’re served at a Culver City joint called, naturally, Magu’s Famous Burgers.

miscelLAny:

L.A.’s first parking meters, which appeared in 1949, charged 5 cents an hour. Now, rates on the city’s 39,000 curbside coin machines range from a high of $2 an hour in the Civic Center to a low of 25 cents an hour in some outlying areas.

For Angelenos bugged by Medfly spraying. When sleep won’t come, how about a wee-hours tour that stops at the fish market?