Six Is Not Enough : Fatherhood: Kevin Kolbeck loves having a big family. He says discipline--and a supportive wife--are essential.

With six children and another on the way, Kevin Kolbeck has a big family by today’s standards.

According to state figures, the average household in Ventura County has only 3.006 people.

But Kevin Kolbeck hasn’t finished with fatherhood. By the time he and his wife, Michelle, are through, they may well raise that statistic by a thousandth or two.

“We’re not shooting for any particular number, but 12 is not out of the question,” Kolbeck said. “I tell people we want to have a birthday each month of the year.”

On Father’s Day, many dads savor the unique satisfaction of creating and nurturing a child. For Kevin Kolbeck, there is also the satisfaction of accomplishing his life’s goal.

“When I was growing up, I just loved family life,” Kolbeck said. “I couldn’t wait to have my own and do the same things my parents and sisters and I did together.”

The Kolbecks, who live in Santa Paula, do just about everything together.

“I hate not having the kids involved in what we’re doing,” Kolbeck said. “We rarely do things apart.”

That means taking two cars to the drive-in movies, as the family did the other night--one for any little Kolbecks who fell asleep.

It means bringing the whole brood when Kevin competes in his men’s basketball league, when Michelle Kolbeck goes shopping, when the family attends Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Ventura.

Above all, Kevin said, it means discipline.

“I think that’s the key to success in a big family, having kids who behave,” he said. “Then you’re not afraid to take them places. You can sit and have an enjoyable meal as a family. Even with six kids you can still do that.”

At Carrow’s Restaurant in Santa Paula one night last week, the Kolbeck kids--two boys, four girls, ages 9, 7, 5, 4, 2 and 1--clustered around their parents while waiting for a table.

“How many highchairs?” the hostess asked.

One for baby Daniel was enough, but Michael, the oldest of the children, dutifully fetched booster seats for his two youngest sisters, Leah and Rebecca. The others are Sarah and Rachael.

After placing orders--mostly $1.99 entrees from the kids’ menu--the family talked about such things as what happened at school that day, their dog and two cats and the untimely demise of a pet rabbit.

“You never have anything lacking to discuss when you have this many children,” Michelle said.

“My dad was something of a disciplinarian,” Kevin said, explaining his own philosophy of fatherhood. “He wanted kids to be courteous to others and one another.”

Kevin and Michelle grew up in Iowa. He was the oldest and only boy among five children. Michelle was one of six.

Kevin said he toyed with the idea of becoming a priest. “Then I saw my vocation was with the family,” he said.

“It made a difference in dating and courtship,” he said. “I was looking for a certain type of spouse. Most of the women thought I was crazy. They’d say, ‘you want to have how many kids?’ ”

Michelle said that was more or less her reaction.

“He came into this relationship knowing what he wanted,” she said. “I thought it was very strange at first, because I was going to be this big career person.”

Michelle does have a job as a merchandiser for General Foods. Two to four nights a week, she visits grocery stores to make sure that the company’s products are properly displayed.

“I move Jell-O around,” she said.

“I know what my career is. It’s raising six children.”

Her seventh is due in October--one of the remaining six months when none of the Kolbeck children have birthdays. (The other open months are January, March, April, June and November.)

Michelle’s flexible work schedule allows her to stay with the kids until Kevin arrives home from his teaching job at Thomas Aquinas College.

“We hardly ever have baby-sitters,” Michelle said. “Not for work, anyway.”

Their two incomes amount to about $40,000 a year, Michelle said. That’s enough to make the payments on their three-bedroom house and buy a few extras, such as the stereo in the living room and the glass of Scotch that Kevin enjoys after work.

But, Michelle said, “we certainly don’t send the kids to first grade in L.A. Gear shoes.”

She said Kevin is “a very unique husband.”

“In some ways he’s a better parent than I am,” she said. “At least he was smart enough when he was young to know what’s important in life.”