The Sister Cities International Convention in Albuquerque...

The Sister Cities International Convention in Albuquerque this weekend will not be attended by one of L.A.’s municipal kin: Tehran.

While it’s on L.A.’s list of 17 sister cities, the Iranian capital is designated as “temporarily suspended.” The “temporary” suspension has been in effect since the Iranian demonstrators took U.S. hostages in 1979.

In its recent “Best Bets” issue, the Downtown News gave “Most Mysterious Object” honors to a 15-feet-tall crimson cone that’s perched on a tripod in the northwest corner of Pershing Square.

The News appealed to readers to identify the conehead contraption (see photo) but none have done so.

Was it left there (1) by an ancient civilization, (2) by an off-beat religious sect, or, perhaps, (3) by a fan of “Saturday Night Live”?

Our phone calls to Pershing Square’s garage and to the city Department of Recreation and Parks on Wednesday failed to produce an answer. But Only in L.A. vows to press on with the investigation.

When we solve the mystery, we plan to celebrate by holding a barbecue under the cone.

Spiders are crawling all over the city’s movie screens in “Arachnophobia,” but a 3-foot-long snake, a tarantula and three iguanas are missing in real life from a Reseda house. Police are treating it as a theft, rather than a mass break-out.

The Curse of Thousand Oaks:

Amid the controversy over the Raiders, another pro football team has quietly rejected Southern California. For nearly 30 years, the Dallas Cowboys practiced during the pre-season in Thousand Oaks, prompting the proud city to install signs calling itself the club’s “Summer Home.”

But the Cowboys said they wanted a place with hotter weather. So, they chose Austin, Tex., as their sister-city. Guess what? It rained during the Cowboys’ first seven days there.

“I think I’ve found L.A.’s newest nude beach,” said Tom LaBonge, a City Council aide.

He was showing a Berlin official the sights when they came upon a man sunning himself at water’s edge in his birthday suit.

And where is this risque spot, which is likely to draw thousands of unclad bathers and gawkers after its mention here?

“The L.A. River,” said LaBonge, “under the 4th Street bridge.”

The latest chapter in the Decline and Fall of the English Language:

The Times received a press release announcing that a clothing store in Redlands “will grand open” this weekend.

miscelLAny:

The assessed valuation of real estate in L.A. County for the 1989-1990 fiscal year was $378 billion. Good luck if you’re trying to sell your share.