Movies as Art

Most true artists create their works out of a need to express their visions and to enjoy their creations. And when an artist breaks through and if it is on a grand scale--behold!--there is the Art Facist, appearing from behind his coffee cup to deliver the sobering message that what the naive public is enjoying is in fact not good and, worse than that, is not “art.” Thus a bitter and insulted public sludges away, reconvinced that art is something that is not enjoyable.

Want to be an Art Facist? Here’s how!

1--Love obscurity for obscurity’s sake. If your favorite unknown creator suddenly becomes popular, inform everyone within earshot that the artist has sold out, his early stuff was his best and you liked him first.

2--Have contempt for the public. Remember: They don’t read, they’ll watch anything and they think that wrestling is real.

3--Have extra contempt for the Midwest. Keep telling yourself that between L.A. and New York there are only cows, tractors and guys with straw in their mouths. Oh, and they’d all kill their kids on videotape to win on “America’s Funniest Home Videos.”

4--Above all, make sweeping generalizations. All movies are bad; all TV is bad (except PBS dramas in which the actors have British accents).

If the exciting world of Art Facism sounds good to you, send your faith in mankind and a SASE to Larry Thomas Gardner. If he doesn’t respond right away, don’t worry. He’s just out burning those trashy Kurosawa films.

PAUL FEIG

North Hollywood